Chapter Seven
Cris
“I’ve never had a panic attack before but I’m fairly certain if I did it would feel like this.” I tap my breastbone with my fingers and nod to back up my own theory.
Vivian is grinning like crazy. Maybe she is crazy. She’d have to be considering what I’d shared with her was not good news. Meanwhile, she looks like she’s ready to burst with excitement. I decide she is definitely crazy when the words, “You kissed Benji!” fly out of her mouth.
It’s Sunday afternoon and I should be at home, cleaning and doing laundry and preparing a few meals for the week. Instead I called Vivian and told her I had to see her in person. So here I am. We’re sitting on opposite sides of a beautiful sofa in Nate’s—and well, now Viv’s too—gorgeous home. The living room is posh yet comfortable. Take-charge, confident Vivian is sitting, legs crossed, her hands folded in her lap. I feel better about my predicament being next to her. If I’m lucky, maybe some of her confidence will spread to me. I have to go to work tomorrow, after all. After a sleepless night last night I realized I couldn’t face Benji until I unpacked what happened.
“Technically he kissed me. But I kissed him back,” I say. “And then he really kissed me. Like, with his whole body.”
She giggles. I’ve never heard her giggle. I grouse at her. “You’re losing your edge.”
“I’m a woman in love. Sue me.” She gives me a contemplative scowl that turns into a self-effacing smile. “Wait, don’t. I’ve had enough legal issues for a lifetime.”
I shake my head when she grins wider than before.
“I can’t believe you didn’t leap into his arms and have sex with him right there on the floor!” she shouts as Nate steps into the living room with our drinks.
I give him a wan smile. “Sorry you have to hear this.”
“You’re secret’s safe with me.” He hands me a glass garnished with a sprig of rosemary and a lime wedge.
“Nate’s not a gossip.” She beams up at him. He bends and gives her a soft kiss. God, they’re sweet.
I take a drink of the clear liquid as Vivian does the same. “This is delicious.”
“It’s one of my favorites. He’s been creative lately,” she says.
“I’m a man in love.” His smile is easy. He’s the happiest I’ve seen him. He deserves it. He’s such a great person. “I’ll leave you to it. I’m going to do some work.”
Viv blows him a kiss, and he walks his big body past the glass partition separating the living room from the staircase and walks up.
“So then what happened?” She folds her leg beneath her on the couch and settles in for story time. “Tell me about your first Benji-assisted orgasm.”
I send an uneasy glance over my shoulder even though I watched Nate walk upstairs with my own two eyes. Then I face my friend. “Why do you want to know?”
“Because! Since I first met you and Benji, I’ve sensed sparks. And what I want to know, in as much detail as you’re comfortable with, of course, is what sort of sparks you threw. Was it sizzles and pops like oil in a pan, or a raging, unstoppable forest fire?”
“It was… It was…” I want to lie, but I’m awful at it, so I tell her the truth and save myself the trouble. “I left after the kiss. Nothing else happened.”
It was not the answer she wanted to hear, but to be fair, it wasn’t the one I wanted to give her. My shoulders sag. I’m both disappointed for her and in myself.
She sighs, her mouth screwing to one side. “Bummer.” Then she takes a gulp of her drink and sets the glass aside. “I thought the whole reason you were dating was to celebrate your life—the one you finally have since your last baby bro left the house.”
“I do. I am,” I defend.
“Then why wouldn’t you do the one thing you wanted to do most?” she asks gently.
“I panicked.”
“The virgin thing,” she guesses incorrectly.
“The best-friend thing. The boss thing. Benji is very intertwined in my life.”
“He’s also not seeing anyone at the moment, which is as rare as a snowman sighting in the desert.” She takes a breath before offering a soft smile. “I’m not trying to pressure you, Cris. I’m encouraging the outcome I thought you wanted.” She props her elbow on the back of the sofa and rests her cheek on her fist. “It’s obvious he’s totally into you.”
At this news, I blink. “Pardon?”