I smirked. He wasn’t kidding.
I had stomped into the Wilson residence when Devlin lived there and told him he was a pussy for not contacting Rena. My insult spurred him into action.
“Somehow I don’t think that would inspire Cade in the same way,” I said glumly.
Devlin surprised me by coming to my side and palming my shoulder. “He’s come a long way with you, Tash,” he said, delivering a gentle squeeze. “Don’t underestimate your power.”
He winked and I understood instantly why Rena had fallen so hard for him. But even under his steady blue gaze and dark good looks, I still thought of Cade. Cade’s amber eyes and the wicked twist of his smile. The stammer that had shifted to the cadence of his speech now—less clumsy than before but not perfect. Yet, in its own way, perfect. The way he made love to me from head to toe. The way he made me feel beautiful. The way he made me believe I was beautiful.
Then I remembered the last thing he’d said to me.
“He told me I’m a stuck-up rich girl. He thinks I’m shallow,” I told Devlin, not ready to let go of the hurt. “Whatever power I had over him has vanished.”
Devlin didn’t have anything to say to that, but Rena did. “Well, if he thinks that about my best friend, then I say you don’t need him.”
I lifted my wine, gazing into the golden liquid. I had finals to pass. I had my Z4 back. I had an understanding with my father. I had a job I loved.
I didn’t need Cade to be complete.
I would heal. It’d take time, but I’d heal.
Cade
I spent most of the day under Ice Blue’s hood, making sure she was running smoothly. I wanted her purring like a kitten.
At the thought of my nickname for Tasha, reality interrupted the daze I was in, and I purposely pushed it away in favor of thinking of my car—the only girl I needed.
I changed the Camaro’s name to Ice Blue from Blue 2. I liked to think Ice Blue was the color of my heart. That it was an impenetrable, cold block, safe from women who sought to shatter it.
Under my car, the day flew. Time ceased to exist. And for those dreamlike hours, I temporarily forgot I had a hole in my chest where Tasha should be. By midafternoon I climbed behind the wheel and drove until I ended up on Alley Road.
Now I sat in an idling Ice Blue and stared at the fire hydrant and the telltale scrape of navy blue paint from my former Audi. My life changed irrevocably that night. I’d been angry when I learned Joyce wasn’t my mother—that my entire life I’d been lied to by the two people who were supposed to love me the most. I’d wanted my father to go back to being the man I remembered—the supporter of the family—instead of a guy in deep with gambling.
A few mornings ago when I woke and Mom—Tasha was right, in my heart Joyce was my mom—was standing next to my dad making pancakes, I wanted her to stay. Too soon to say if it was going to work out between them, but she’d gone on a “date” with him last night, so I took that as progress.
I had what I wanted—my dad was back. My mom was literally back.
Almost everything you want.
I ignored the dart of pain in my chest when I pictured Tasha. Healing was a bitch.
Alley Road,I thought, focusing on my surroundings. The wreck had been the physical setback of a lifetime. At least, I hoped so. I’d like to believe terribly unfortunate circumstances limited themselves to one per person per lifetime. Like the moment I’d slid sideways into the hydrant that rattled my brain, destroyed my car, and sealed my fate.
The clouds opened up and splattered rain onto the top of my head and the seats through the open car’s roof, and a realization settled in. The accident had given me things I’d never had before. Arguably, things I wouldn’t have had without it.
Dad stopped gambling and his job became his new addiction.
Tasha showed up to help and didn’t let me push her away. Until the end. I’d pushed hard, too hard. I broke her.
My heart lurched and the fast-food lunch in my stomach kicked my gut.
Tasha had been trying to help me. She’d been trying to get me to attempt those stupid ooo and puh exercises because she cared. Tasha cared about me. Even when I hadn’t deserved it.
Then I kissed her. Man. What had happened in the whirlwind weeks since that happened? It was like there was a tear in reality and I ventured behind the curtain and embraced what was on the other side. I’d not only regained the ability to express myself, but I’d opened my eyes to a different future than I’d ever imagined.
I had been stuck in the past. Stuck with Brooke, stuck in law school. And my friends who purchased the building that would someday be our firm? A law firm with my name on it wasn’t my future. It was theirs. I was an interloper. A passerby.
It’d been nearly two weeks since I walked out of Tasha’s apartment. Devlin had mentioned her once, and Rena had said nothing, but she sent me my fair share of dirty looks.