“The mind works in funny ways,” Mam said. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll keep an eye on you, and maybe… maybe tomorrow, we should take the day off and visit a doctor. It might be time to get another prescription.”
“I know. I just don’t like medicating myself,” I said numbly. “I hate how it feels.” But I knew she was right; I had already come to the same conclusion myself.
“Just for a little while,” Dad said. “Just until… we get settled.”
I had to suck it up, for their sakes. If it took daily pills to make me normal, then it was a worthy sacrifice to make.
Chapter 22
Dorian
I satat the edge of the woods, my back against a broad tree as I faced the houses the pack owned. The woods had been declared strictly off-limits, and the pack was too hard to be around. Since Alex… nothing felt right. She had been murdered, which was bad enough, but she had been stabbed in the back. Nobody could have snuck up on Alex. She would never have turned her back to someone unless she trusted them, and she didn’t trust many people. The thought of her trusting the very person who killed her, validating every fear she had, made my stomach clench.
Worse, somebody had made it look as though she’d tried to run away from the pack, and because the others didn’t know she’d left her passport behind, they’d all started exchanging rumours about Alex’s intentions.
We couldn’t even openly mourn her because nobody wanted to gain the attention of the police. It was pack business, and the pack would resolve matters in its own way. But if the culprit really was human, then the alpha would have a lot of problems trying to control a pack of angry werewolves.
Mara joined me, sitting cross-legged as she held on to the necklace Alex had given her. “I miss her.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“I hate sleeping alone. Can I come to your room tonight?”
I considered my answer carefully. “You know Perdita doesn’t like that.”
Her face was pale. “Just to sleep. Just to be… not alone.”
“Come over then,” I said. “No sneaking. Walk through the front door.”
She nodded, and a large tear ran down her cheek. “We should be doing something, Dorian. It’s not right. It feels like we’re pretending nothing happened.”
“Byron’s trying to keep the rest of us safe.” But I knew what she meant. I felt it, too.
“One ofuskilled Alex,” she said fiercely. “I’m going to find out who, and I’m going to rip them apart.”
“Mara…”
“Don’t.” She wiped her face with her sleeves. “Don’t you dare tell me to calm down or trust the alpha. Alex trusted him, and now she’s dead. And her killer ishere, pretending to mourn her. I know it. You know it. The alpha knows it. And nobody’s doing anything butme.”
She stormed off, leaving me with my head in my hands. I didn’t know what to do, how to help her. I still couldn’t quite believe Alex wasn’t going to come running through the gates, breathless and sweaty, exhilarated after a run. I hadn’t always liked her, but she’d had a tough life, and she hadn’t done anything to deserve being stabbed in the back.
Ryan approached, stopping in front of me. I wondered how long he’d been watching us. “How is she doing?”
I looked up at him. “Mara? Not great.”
“And you? I know you prefer to be alone, but at times like this, it’s easier to manage when we stick together.”
Not for me. I couldn’t stand the constant speculation, not when I knew something I hadn’t shared. Margo had been there. There was somethingwrongwith Margo. And I had said nothing because I didn’t want anyone to hurt her. I had betrayed the pack. When they found out, they would rip me apart. And I would deserve it.
When Ryan sat next to me, I tensed. He wasn’t one of the gossipers, but plenty of the pack had imagined a scenario about Alex in which she had run off with a human, revealed her true nature, then been stabbed in the back for her trouble. It was all so stupid.
“I know finding the body must have been difficult,” Ryan began.
I held up my hands. “Don’t. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Holding everything inside won’t help you.”
“I don’t need help.” I nodded toward the houses. “Theyneed help. Talking about Alex running off with a human when we all know exactly what she was like. It’s stupid.”