Today wasn’t a mistake. I’d had fun. As far as I could tell they did too. However, I needed to distance myself from what happened, the way I did with our past.
Which started now, since I was at Lyn’s place, and she was already helping Jax and Grayson carry in my boxes from Grayson’s truck.
Fortunately, this part didn’t require much interaction. Grab some stuff, take it up to my new room on the second floor, and go back for the next load. I swore the entire process took longer than loading the vehicles had.
As we moved the last few boxes, I worked on pasting a smile into place. The manual labor had pushed most of my muddled-brain-ness aside, as well as chasing away the winter chill.
I grabbed a couple of lighter tubs that stacked, and headed for the stairs, passing Lyn. She spun on her toe, fell into step beside me, and tugged the back of my hair.
“Ow.” It didn’t hurt so much as caught me off-guard. “What was that for?”
She held up a piece of fuzzy lint, the same color as my mattress pad. “Love the new accessory. Are we calling thisCatch of the Day?”
“I wasn’tcatchinganything.” I snagged the fluff from her hand shoved it in my pocket. “That’s what condoms are for.” We were eternally teasing each other about our sex lives. I shouldn’t have dropped the hint that she was right this time. Not while Jax and Grayson were here. Not after that exchange earlier.
“No shit. Is this why you took so long?”
At three-quarters excited and three-quarters confused, I was bursting to share. “Maybe.”
“Since when are you seeing someone. Are you? Did you send Mr. Mysterio home before they showed up, or is he why Jax is scowling?” Lyn kept her voice low, but excitement hummed in her voice. She was about half a second from peppering me with questions so quickly I wouldn’t be able to keep up. “Did they interrupt you?”
“No. That definitely wasn’t an issue.” There was no way I wasn’t blushing. I set my load on top of an existing stack. This room was as big as my old bedroom and living room combined. The flat white walls in here were going to be so much better for filming against when the occasion called for it.
I turned to see Lyn staring at me with wide eyes, her mouth agape. “No shit,” she said.
“We need your keys.” Grayson’s voice came from the doorway, both startling me and sending a pleasant shiver up my spine.
I whirled to face him, already digging the ring out of my pocket. Did he overhear us? He was watching me with a strange expression, but it almost looked... sad. Or was that longing? Definitely not. “For what?”
“The rest of your stuff is in the hallway. We’re going to grab a truck full of your furniture.”
“Sounds good. I’ll meet you there.”
He held out his hand. “We’ll do this run alone. It’s really only a two-person job.”
“Oh. Okay.” I couldn’t keep the hurt from my voice as I handed him the keys to my apartment. It was a reasonable request, but it felt like there was more attached to it.
Grayson dipped his head next to my ear, and a flash of memory overlapped Jax, and that tender moment earlier. “It’s okay, I promise,” Grayson whispered. “We’ll talk this afternoon.”
I nodded and stepped back. “Text me when you leave there, and we’ll order pizza.”
I watched him until he disappeared around a corner and down the stairs. Normally I’d be enjoying the view, but my mind was in other places.
“Oh. My. Lord.” Lyn’s exclamation dragged me out of my head. “Does Grayson know? Or was it with him? That’s why Jax is upset, he walked in on you. No, you said you weren’t interrupted. Was it both of them? Holy shit, what was that like? What were you thinking? Chase is going to flip. Not that it’s any of his business. Was it amazing? I bet it was.Tell me.”
A tiny laugh escaped me, mingled with a sigh. Lyn was a literal genius, and her brain and mouth tended to lay out everything all at once, rather than pondering any of it first.
I was a master of acting without thinking everything through, but she thought it as she did it. When I met her I didn’t know how to process her behavior. Now I adored it. “It was amazing. And confusing. They were both there.” I wasn’t ready to share details. If I talked about it the magic might vanish, and I was already struggling with the fallout. “What was I thinking?”
“You were thinking you were tired of being trapped in ashoujo, where there’s so much tension you think the room might explode, and you wanted to finally move past the final end credits, and do more than gaze longingly at each other.” Lyn grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the kitchen.
I rolled my eyes, but her enthusiasm was chasing away my dread. “We’re not an anime. It was a one-time thing. There’s no happily ever after here.” For them maybe. And for me with my one and only guy.
“You say that now.” She handed me a Mt. Dew and grabbed herself a Diet Coke from the fridge.
We took seats at the kitchen table. “Forever. I’m not supposed to tell anyone. They’re embarrassed about it. I made a mistake, didn’t I?”
“Does it feel like a mistake? Not the circles your brain is chasing you in, but the actual moment. Do you want to take it back?”