“So you’ve never done it?” Jax asked.
Grayson cleared his throat. The sound was loud and exaggerated.
Good. He could shut his boyfriend down.
Jax glanced at him. “Sadie and I are having an adult conversation. If she doesn’t like it, she can say so.”
Do it. Tell him now to stop.
Or let him keep going, and see if he blinked first. Everything he said was going in the fantasy pile, and imagining the two of them helping me masturbate was a pretty good addition.
“Done it?As in sex? Are we twelve? No. I’m not a virgin.” Wow. I actually said that without my voice cracking.
“Not that, gorgeous.” Another nickname that always meant more than it probably should, coming from him. He had a way of making it sound sincere and light-hearted at the same time. Jax held up a bullet vibrator. “Played with one of these with someone else.”
The fantasies existed because I didn’t have many memories of good sex. Not that my love life was all bad, it just wasn’t toe-curling, sheet-clutching, back-scratching amazing. That kind of thing was for the imagination and porn. “No.”
“I’d be willing to give you a demonstration.”
He was taking this a lot farther than I expected, and what was I supposed to make of Grayson’s silence?
I was going to see how far Jax took it. If the answerall the wayI still wasn’t flinching first.
Who was I kidding? I wanted to love every minute of it. Desire hummed through my veins and the heat under my skin was as much need as it was embarrassment.
There was a big, gaping flaw in his proposal, besides the fact that I shouldn’t even flirt with my brother’s friends, let alone consider fucking one of them. “If it’s all toys, even with a second person, is it really sex?”
“If it’s not, you’ve got the wrong second person,” Jax said.
Of course. “What about you?” I looked at Grayson. “Are you just going to stand there and watch?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes. In this case, I’m thinkingyes.”
Because their relationship was open. Adding the idea of Grayson watching to that of getting a taste of Jax drove my senses wild, and it was probably status quo for them.
It was a bad idea for me to even pretend I could live in that part of their world, regardless of what the tingles racing through me wanted. Apparently, I was going to blink first. “Lyn’s waiting on us. We should finish packing up the cars.”
I shoved the box of toys on my dresser, to grab last. That way I could keep it in the front seat with me, and make sure when I fantasized tonight about giving Jax a different answer, I had latex help on hand.
We resumed loading boxes—bigger and heavier ones in Grayson’s truck, and smaller in my car.
I was moving into a spare bedroom in my best friend Lyn’s house. She owned a corner lot shop she’d purchased for a steal at a foreclosure auction. She turned the main floor into a gaming cafe, complete with a bakery for her own sinfully amazing baked goods.
A few months ago, she did a massive remodel on the shop—fiber optics in the walls. High-end gaming chairs and top of the line hardware. And her dream kitchen for producing mass quantities of sweets. Business slowed for her right after, and she was struggling to pay back the loan for the overhaul.
I was moving in because my lease was up, and I needed month-to-month deal until the jobs I was pursuing in L.A. panned out. But my being there would also help her make ends meet until things picked up again for her business.
I grabbed one of the last boxes from my bedroom and was heading outside when I found Grayson in the living room. He had taken my replica lightsaber from its cradle, a grin on his face. “Power.Unlimitedpower.” He held the lightsaber above his head, and called out in his best Palpatine voice.
The replica had been a gift from him and Jax. I was on a Star Wars kick after “The Force Awakens” came out and they gave it to me to accent my Rey costume. The only thing that made the gift more perfect was I had no idea they’d made the purchase when I’d gotten them each one too, as athank youfor Jax being my Kylo Ren and Grayson being my Poe.
I took the weapon from him. “So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause.” The game was simple. Pick a quote from a series, and each person had to add onto it with another, not necessarily the right one.
“Count me outta dis one.” Jax’s high-pitched Jar Jar Binks impersonation came from behind. He rested a hand on the small of my back as he stepped around me, and warmth spread out from his touch.
It was a simple gesture to let me know he was there, and one he’d made countless times in the past. Today it sparked images that weren’t ready to be shoved aside.
He took the lightsaber from Grayson and handed it to me. “Apparently you left a lot of your toys out.”