She couldn’t believe how poorly she behaved at dinner. Every other word that came out of her mouth was inappropriate. At the same time, she didn’t actually regret any of it, despite feeling like she should.
Bright light greeted her when she pushed inside. Cynthia’s brother, Paul, sat on the couch, watching something with explosions and violin music. He looked up the moment Emily walked into the room. “Hey.”
“Are you only here for the night, or is this a long-term arrangement?” She wasn’t in the mood to be social. She didn’t mind Paul in small doses. They’d known each other since they were kids. She didn’t have the brain power to carry on a polite conversation right now. Besides, Paul usually visited when he was out of work and didn’t have enough money to make rent with whoever had taken him in most recently. It always rubbed Emily the wrong way, regardless of how much she tried to be kind and look the other way for Cynthia’s sake.
“I’m helping Cynthia with some front-end work, and I’m between jobs. We’re going to spend a few days brainstorming in the same room.”
“Awesome.” Emily couldn’t find any enthusiasm. She noticed a single rose in a vase, sitting on the coffee table. “Is Cynthia seeing someone?”
“It’s for you.” He grabbed it and almost tripped over a table leg, closing the distance between them. He righted himself and handed her the gift.
She looked between it and him. “Thanks?” She didn’t know what to make of it.
“As a congratulations.”
“For...?”
“I heard you’re getting close to your goal of being able to see the world. I figured that was congratulation worthy.”
That seemed like an odd reason for a flower. “I am. I just have to make it through this contract.”
“You’re brilliant; you’ll make it happen.” He guided her to the couch and tugged her to sit next to him. “Cynthia told me she stood you up on Saturday. We should all go celebrate this weekend instead.”
Emily gave him a weak smile. “Sounds fantastic.”
“It’s a date. For tonight, you should take it easy. Sit and watch movies with me and unwind.”
That sounded like a good idea. If she could lose herself in explosions, she could forget about the muddled day she had. She settled in.
When Paul took the spot next to her, his arm brushing hers, surprise jolted through her. She shook it aside. Dinner had her caught on the edge between wanting more of Saturday night and knowing it wasn’t appropriate given her working conditions. There was no reason to take that out on Paul or misread a casual closeness.
The movie played on, but she couldn’t concentrate. Normally, the high-budget special effects and cheesy one-liners grabbed her attention and let her zone out. Tonight, something nagged at the back of her mind, and she couldn’t pin it down.
“Are you all right?” Paul asked.
“I'm fine.”
“You look tense.” He adjusted his position to sit sideways, one leg on the cushion and pressed against her thigh. He kneaded his fingers into her shoulders. “So many knots. Was this evening that bad?”
She forced herself to relax, despite the invisible spring coiling tighter inside with each new touch. “It was okay. My mind's all over the place. I'm good. Thank you.”
“Of course.” He took the hint and dropped his hands away, but kept his body shifted toward her.
It's because he's comfortable.It had nothing to do with her. The assurance didn't sit well. She ran their past through her mind, skipping along their every-day. Had he ever acted like this around her before? They shared things like hugs and high fives, but this didn’t feel the same. There was an expectation behind it that she didn’t care for, and couldn’t tell if she was misreading.
“Do you want to watch something else?” His question pulled her back to the conversation.
“No. This is good.”
“You seem distracted. Are you sure nothing’s wrong?”
Yes. Jeez. Stop asking already.The mental shout echoed in her head, and she tempered the abrupt response. She needed to learn to better compartmentalize if work was going to be like this for the next month. She nodded.
“Okay. I'll drop it.” He draped an arm around her shoulders.
She shot to her feet, confusion assaulting her. He looked at her, brow furrowed in confusion.
“On second thought, I'm super tired. Tonight must have hit me harder than I thought. I need some sleep.” She spat the sentence out in a single breath.