Chapter 10
Atlas
I lay in the bed unable to sleep as the conversation from dinner keeps playing in my mind. Logically I realize that True and I haven’t made any promises to each other, but I would think that after all, we shared she would have claimed me. Instead, she was only upset about being treated like a heffer at an auction. Her words, not mine. I know she feels the chemistry we share, the sexual attention between us. Is she just biding her time until she can leave and resume her life? Does she really have someone to go back to? I turn over, again truly bothered by this, and True is sleeping peacefully beside me, obviously not bothered at all. I throw the covers back gently so I won’t wake True, throw on some shorts and my slides, and head back down to the kitchen to have another slice of cake and some coffee. Once I have my coffee and cake I sit at the booth that I was just sitting at for dinner so deep in thought I don’t even turn on any lights.
“I like her,” I hear a voice say in the darkness.
“Me too,” I say.
“Then why are you down here in the dark instead of upstairs with her?” Josh asks.
I start to reply, but I don’t know what to say.
“You’re still feeling some way about her not saying y’all are actually a couple,” he says. It was not a question but a statement. I look over to Josh as he sits at the booth with his own cup of coffee and cake, not even surprised he knew what was bothering me.
“ I have never brought a woman home Josh, never even thought about bringing any woman here around my family, and she didn’t claim me, claim us,” I grumble.
“Atlas, does she know all that?”
“Why does that matter?”
“Don’t be stupid Gummy, you know it matters.”
I smile at his use of my childhood nickname. It took me so long to get teeth when I was a baby my parents took me to the doctor to see if there was a problem with me. Even when I did finally get a tooth I only had one for months, and that is how they all came in one tooth at a time and months and months between a new tooth emerging. Needless to say I was called Gummy for years. “Josh,”I begin.
“Nope, don’t try to bullshit me. I knew who Savvy was to me when she ran into me at the airport and I pursued her until I got her. Not once did she ever have to question her importance in my life and I did not leave it up to her to try to interpret my actions; I let her know and I showed her. If True is who you really want and it’s obvious that you love her then man the fuck up and tell her, stop being a bitch sitting in the dark pouting.”
I scowl over at him, “doesn’t Savvy need you?”
“Nope I put Savvy’s ass to sleep like I should and came out here to make sure my brother is ok.”
Our parents being close as children, grew up close as adults and made sure to instill the importance and power of what a real family is into us. They taught us blood doesn’t hold us together, love does and you can love anyone, and if that love is pure and you choose to trust your life to them they are your family. With love, trust, respect, faith, commitment and hard work, you make your family. It was corny to us as kids but as adults I will forever be grateful that not only did our parents instill this in us they lived it for us all to see. My brother, who saved my life literally and figuratively, on so many occasions is still looking out for me. I really am getting soft as I feel the tears burning in the back of my throat,
“Josh,” I say.
“No need for words brother, what’s understood doesn’t need to be explained.”
I just nod and he and I quietly eat our cake and drink our coffee, clean up the kitchen, and head back to our respectful areas of the house never saying another word.
I make my way back to the room and get back in bed, but I am still not able to fall asleep. Even after the conversation I had with Josh there is so much that still is not clear, did she not claim for the reasons Josh said or is it something in her real life she is waiting to go back to? So many possibilities run through my head, and I’m afraid that whatever the answer is to who True really is will be too much for me to accept.
I release another deep breath and True says, “what’s wrong Atlas. You’ve been thinking so loudly it has kept me up.”.
Wait so she was never asleep? I’m slipping. I have to start training again and solve this mystery of who she is.
“Why didn’t you say we were a couple tonight at dinner when my brother asked you”.
“Really?”
“Yes True, really.”
“Atlas, have you told me we are an item? Am I just supposed to read your mind?”
So Joshua was right; she is unaware of the significance of my actions toward her and that’s my fault.
“No, you are supposed to read my actions,” I tell her. “You’ve been with me for weeks, hell I watch cartoons with you and let you win board games.”
“Ok first of all, you don’t let me win anything, you're just bothered by the fact that you can’t beat me. And second of all, how do I know you don’t watch cartoons with all the women you bring back here.”