Taking my time to shave, I was quite preoccupied until a sudden rap at the door halted me fromcontinuing.
If this is Audrey ready to inform me the suit wasn’t the correct size,I’ll go truly ballistic.Not due to her mistake but simply because nothing was going right in my lifewhatsoever.
“One moment!” I hollered as I speedily tugged a towel before cautiously securing it around my hips. Striding out of the bedroom and out towards the living room, my eyes quickly glanced towards the time before wrenching thedooropen.
“Hi, do you have a moment?” Gisele timidly stood outside my door, seeming unsure as she warily eyed me. Gone was the woman who manically taunted me yesterday at the lawyer’s office. Dressed in jean shorts, a loose white shirt, and flats, she looked every bit of a college student and not the bitchy heiress fromyesterday.
Shocked at the sight of her, it took me a full minute to finally find my voice. “I have to besomewheresoon.”
She shifted her feet, seemingly shy all of a sudden. “I won’t take long…Ipromise.”
Damn. What did she want? The question daunted me, but at the same time, I had an obligation to her. If this was an emergency, it was my job to ensure everything was going to be handled withoutdelay.
“All right, come on in.” Stepping aside, I widened the door to letherpass.
She slowly halted her steps just before the sofas. She then spun to face where I cautiously stood a good ten feet away from her with my lips pressed together and hands planted on my hips. I wasn’t necessarily aiming for hostility, but somehow, my attitude came off this way. After this morning, maybe her visit was just toopremature.
“I’m waiting,Gisele.”
She slid her purse off her shoulder before pulling out a folder and carefully placing it on the coffee table. “I came to apologize, but it seems I caught you at thewrongtime.”
My eyes bore into the folder before scowling at the woman. “What the bloody hell’s in it? Are you personally handing me my resignationpaperwork?”
She threw me a wounded look, as if she couldn’t believe what had just come out my mouth. But given how erratic she had been, one couldn’t be too sure where Gisele wasconcerned.
“Don’t be too harsh. I know I’ve been acting crazy lately, but I wouldn’t go that far to hurt you.” Her voice trembled as she threw me apleadinglook.
“Then what the bloody hellisit?”
Her fingers linked, her thumb dug into her forefinger, flinching apprehensively. “It’s our divorce,” she chokingly stated. “I’m handing it to you. Whether you want to file it or not, it’s solely uptoyou.”
My body stilled. My world stopped. The functionality of my brain froze as my scowl deepened to a full-scale horrified expression.“What are you playing at here, Gisele?”I was beyond livid. “Do you think you can toy with people like some bloody yo-yo while you get to control and dictate my life! Do I look like a fucking puppet to you! You are a vile, vindictive, soulless person, and I’m quite ashamed I fell for yourtricks!”
“That’s not true!” she loudly objected as tears threatened to spill from the rim of her eyes. “You left! You didn’t even wait for me to grasp the entire situation. You just fucking left! It’s as if it’s that easy to just drop me and you fucking go on living your life as if you didn’t ruin mine!” she somberly stated. “Do you know how it feels every time you walk out on me?Do you?Not only did Rose chip away at my guilt, but she also managed to make me jealous. I was consumed by it. But instead of trying to talk me out of it, to help me heal from the pain she caused, you just up and leftagain. I’m of so little value to you…” She started crying—hard, deep racking sobs. “You’ve hurt me so much. You terrify me, but I just realized I’m so terrified of fully losing you that I’m willing to risk you never talking to me. I hope it’s not too late to work things out. I want to stay married to you, and if Rose is in the picture and if she’s pregnant…If you still love me, I’m willing to accept your child as a part of you, too. I’ll love the baby as if it’s my own. So, please don’t judge me too harshly…I am learning and making countless mistakes. But here I am, ready to make amends, baring my heart to you, hoping you’ll love meagain.”
Her lengthy explosive confession tilted my axis. Not only was I speechless, but I was rather dumbfounded that she had bloody convinced herself I was having a child with Rose. Her imagination sure worked overtime. And as for the rest, I loved her, but she terrified me, too. But as she pointed out, maybe it was the wrong decision to walk out on her when she was obviously in pain that night. I was reeling from her divorce announcement, so consumed by pain and anger it was impossible to see past all the agonizing haze our confrontationevoked.
“Gisele, I don’t know what else to say…This is alltoomuch…”
Fresh tears renewed, and she shuddered as she wiped the tears away. “It’s okay,” she hiccupped. “It’s okay. You’re busy and all, so I should get going.” Her eyes flickered towards the folder before she gripped her purse and sprinted towardsthedoor.
“That’s it?” I yelled after her, stopping her from takinganotherstep.
Ever so slowly, she turned to face me. “What do you mean by ‘that’sit’?”
“After all you’ve just said,youthen decide toleave?”
Gisele grimaced. Although the heavy stream of tears had halted, moisture remained in her sullen gray depths. “I’m giving you space. You look so affronted. I don’t know if you hate me or if you still love me or are just indifferent, or maybe I’m just saving us from another awkwardgoodbye.”
My eyes trained on her as I progressively meandered over to her frozen form, contemplative. Stopping my tracks upon reaching her, my eyes set ablaze as I gazed down on the woman who had wrung me dry. “Do you mean that, Gisele? About loving my child asyourown?”
She meekly nodded. “With all myheart.”
“And what of Dexter?” I warily asked, eyes holding her firmly, never letting her off. “Where does he fitinthis?”
“You totally misconstrued what happened this morning. I left him a voicemail the other day, asking if I could interview him. It’s for school. He’s a lawyer, in case you’d forgotten…There’s nothing going on, Jared.” She paused, closing the gap between us. Placing her palm on my chest, she then gazed up at me, beseeching. “I’m not a soulless person. I care about the people I love. I want to keep them, to protect them. As for being vindictive…I never considered myself that way until you came along. I’m appalled I’ve stooped so low, but loving you isn’t an excuse to turn into a despicable person. I’m sorry for that. Like I said earlier, I’m learning. Take a chance on me. I won’tdisappointyou.”
I’d given her an opportunity to take it all back yesterday, but it seemed she hadn’t come to her senses until this morning. I was glad she had before everything was set in motion. Was I relieved? Beyond words. Was I wary? Quite. But we both were at fault here. We had begun this relationship without intending for it to be real. But here we were, falling in love with eachother.