“It’s nothing.” He shrugged the subject away like it wasn’t a big deal.
Well, it was a huge deal to me, and his total nonchalance grated me to no end. My God, I didn’t know this man. The old River would never even fathom touching such toxicity.
“It’s not nothing! How long have you been doing this?” I had to refrain the urge to slap him silly.
“Not that long … It began the night I heard you scream his name.” If he seemed beyond pale before, now he looked almost lifeless.
His response befuddled me. I understood his anger and where he was coming from, but cocaine? That kind of bullshit would get him into more trouble.
“That’s ludicrous. You have to stop this! This is going to kill you.”
“You sound concerned.”
Was he mocking me?
“The fuck I am! What’s gotten into you!” Rage filled me as I spat at him, wanting to smack some sense into him.
“Is this why you’re here? To lecture me how to live my life?” He shut his eyes, seeming to run out of patience.
This wasn’t the route for him. Not drugs. It could never be the answer when one was in pain. The repercussions were too high; the stake irreplaceable.
“River, please. Mattie taught us better.”
His nose flared, eyes igniting a new flame of anger. “You bring Mattie up like you still care. You abandoned the very people who cared and loved you. You haven’t seen her since you left. She’s barely two hours away, and you can’t even bring yourself to see her. Honestly, Cara, you’ve become this uncaring, heartless woman! You don’t care about anyone but yourself, so spare me the lecture. You’re not in better shape to judge me.”
His speech hit close to home. I became this way because I had been hurt beyond repair. Still, I cared about his wellbeing.
“I am what I am. I’m not going to apologize for it.”
“Good to know. I guess we’re done here. You know your way out, Cara.” Closing his eyes, he began to massage his temples.
I wasn’t going to let him eject me out of the house just because he didn’t like me prodding into his drug problem.
“River—”
He let out an impertinent groan. “My head hurts, and quite frankly, getting screamed at isn’t helping. Please, Cara, I just can’t keep bickering with you.”
I wasn’t going to let up. If this drug problem was a serious addiction, I was going to help him get through it. I might hate him from time to time, but that didn’t mean I was going to abandon him. No, I would be his rock, even if he wished me gone.
“It’s her, isn’t it? The one who got you hooked on this bullshit?”
River remained mum, avoiding my condemning gaze. He was becoming overprotective of her now, too? Well, that didn’t sit well with me. He could ruin his life in other ways if he so wished it, but drugs?
His parents both died from overdosing. So, for him to spiral into the very same pattern was unacceptable to me.
Armed with enough ammunition to argue with him until kingdom come, I purposely marched toward where he stood before cupping his chin so he couldn’t avoid my scathing eyes.
I was just about to give him hell when I felt the shocking temperature of his skin. He was scorching hot. No wonder the man was pale.
“You’re sick. How long have you had fever? Jesus, sit down while I get you medicine.”
“I’m fine,” he grumbled, but didn’t resist when I led him toward the couch so he could recline.
Should I call for an ambulance? Noting his pallor, I was becoming nervous, hoping it wasn’t as serious as pneumonia.
“Where’s your medicine cabinet?” I asked while my mind buzzed with ideas with what to do next.
He shook his head. “It’s empty.”