“We shall see.”
My friend was brilliant, but I wondered if Anton had fallen in love yet. Because, time wouldn’t make a difference, whether it was a decade or a few years, the feeling didn’t fade away because you demand it to. Once it left a mark, it branded your soul for the rest of your life. It stayed there, festering, rotting. It seeped into your very bones and the very fabric of your being. It ate you alive.
But what time did allow was survival once you accepted your fate. You learned how to live with the pain, the hollowness in your heart, the darkness in your soul.
Back when we were sixteen, after he proposed to me with that simple gold band he had bought with the money he saved for a whole year, River and I made a pact—a seal between bloods, our blood, with our written vows of love, faith and loyalty to each other, along with his grandmother’s rings buried three-feet deep next to a sycamore tree in the wilderness that was a half a mile hike from Mattie’s house. It was morbid, but we were young and in love. Maybe our bond got solidified with that blood. Whatever it was, getting over River had proven futile. The more I wanted him gone in my heart, the powerful my feelings became. He and I hadn’t spoken about what happened to his grandmother’s ring. He most likely dug it up after I left him two years ago, maybe not. It didn’t matter, because he and I were done.
And I knew River meant it, too, when he had said he was quitting me. That meant everything about me. I knew he was hell-bent on moving to Hailey. If Anton were right, maybe witnessing them with my very eyes would make me immune to them once I got past the initial shock.
//
Considering LA’s traffic, it took me ages to pick up Kells’ decadent three-layered birthday cake from MILK. After that task, I had to rush home to shower and get ready for the party. Phoenix’s home was in Sherman Oaks, so Anton and I had to drive to the valley.
It wasn’t premeditated, but Anton and I both donned all black. With cake in hand, Anton volunteered to be the designated driver since the chances were high for me to get plastered and what not. It took about half an hour to get to Phoenix’s four-bedroom house. It had an old-school Hollywood in the fifties feel to his home. His home also had a lot of ginormous paintings that took up almost all of his walls. Most were abstract expressionism pieces. It was impressive.
“This is a nice house,” I said to Kells, who proudly smiled as she led us toward the kitchen so we could take the cake out of the container. “I love the paintings.”
“He did them all. He’s quite the artist,” she droned on with hearts in her eyes.
“Next time, maybe he can paint you naked,” Anton cheekily suggested before plucking a mini cupcake from one of the laid-out trays. “Do we take this out in the dining area or are we just going to leave it out here and they can feed themselves?”
Kells paused, pondering what would be best for her guests. There were about fifty people filtering through the door, and by the looks of it, there were more coming. Most people were Phoenix’s friends, so we only knew a few people here.
While Kells and Anton discussed back and forth, I scanned the crowd from the kitchen entrance. It gave me the best vantage point and enough privacy to spy on people. I was scouting one man in particular.
My eyes spotted him, honing in on his form as he came out from the powder room before my sight sharpened at the mark on his neck—a blatant lipstick stain strategically placed to brand her man to fend off other women. It was difficult not to be drawn to the engine red that marked his skin before he spun around to wait on someone.
My heart pounded with a deafening sound as my eyes landed on Hailey emerging from the door. There was no denying what those two had been doing in there. Didn’t they care that people might notice? And what’s more, it was Kells’ birthday, for crying out loud.
“Asshole,” Anton muttered from right next to me, seeing the very same thing I was seeing.
River really was moving on with her, just as he promised. Witnessing it made it all real. It brought it home that he and I were truly done. And Goddamn, it hurt so badly.
River hadn’t seen me yet, and since he had his woman stuck to him, I had every opportunity to avoid them as long as I was out of their line of sight.
“Are you okay, doll?” Anton gave me a worried look before he took my hand in support, while I blankly stared back at him, still reeling from what I had just witnessed. “After Kells blows her cake, you can leave. She’ll understand, so don’t worry. I got your back.”
“What about me?” Kells chimed in from behind us before her eyes followed where our eyes were glued to. “I told him not to bring her over, but the bitch showed up here, anyway. She’s clingy and territorial, but River doesn’t seem to care. If he’s not sleeping, he’s drunk or high. The guy’s a hot mess.”
High? River would never. He wasn’t like that. Kells must have been mistaken.
I wanted to argue with her, tell them that it didn’t matter, but I somehow found myself tongue-tied as my eyes followed him, watching how they interacted with one another. I didn’t stop until they went out in the backyard, where more people gathered around the pool and where the music was booming.
Hailey kept touching him, and he didn’t seem to mind.And why should he? They just fucked in the bathroom, remember?
Anton glanced at Kells then toward me before reverting his eyes back to Kells. “I honestly don’t think she should be here. I know it’s your birthday, but guessing from what you just said about that woman, she might come after our Sprinkles, and I might end up knocking her out cold. No one touches my baby without going through me first.”
“I’m fine.” I tried to smile, hoping it was enough to convince them. “Really, I’m … I’m okay.”
What lies. I felt faint, about to pass out, but I couldn’t admit just how badly it affected me seeing them up close and so fucking personal.
“Anton and I agree that you should go … if you really want to. Don’t stay here and torture yourself because it’s my birthday. I really don’t care if it’s my birthday, babe. There’ll be more after this one. But there’s only one you, and you come first. You’ve been there for me during my heartbreaks. Go home and just sit this one out please?”
Anton nodded before putting his arm around me. “I’ll drive you home,” he kindly offered, but if I was going home, I wouldn’t let Anton miss out on tonight.
“You stay, I insist. That’s the only way you guys can kick me out. I’ll take Uber. It’s no biggie.”
After sending my request for a ride, I gave Anton and Kells a massive hug before bidding them good-bye. Staying in the house was stifling, so I decided that it was best to wait for my ride outside. I could do with some fresh air.