Chapter Sixteen
It took everything in me to act the same, taking his calls and pretending as though I didn’t feel the same. River had been patient, not noticing anything amiss. It had been a few days since that fated night, and tried as I might, my thoughts would sprint back in time, rehashing moments spent with him and dissecting where I possibly began falling in love with him again.
Anton and I began our introduction to mixed martial arts, and on the second try, he was ready to give up. The sport was crucial, and I admit my body was sore in places I didn’t know existed.
“We really should give up now,” Anton grumbled as he slid on his training gloves. “Who said being skinny was fun, anyway?”
Grinning at him while securing my ankle brace, I blew out the few strands of hair that fell out of my ponytail. “I’m not doing this to be skinny, babe. There’s a difference between that and just wanting to be fit and healthy.” The three of us lavished on fattening foods, like blocking the arteries kind. This was our way of starting to compensate for gulping down such scrumptious waste into our system. Kells had her yoga, and well, this was ours.
“Wanna do something fun for lunch?” Anton ignored my comment as he conjured what he was going to have for his next meal.
Shaking my head, I tried not to pester him that he had a serious problem when one had to begin daydreaming what he was going to eat soon when his belly was still filled with what he had for breakfast. “Not today. I’m seeing Kyle.”
He frowned like I had just said something offensive. “I thought you were doing the dirty with River?”
They didn’t hide the fact that they liked River and weren’t making it easy for me to just be on my own for a while. Parker had been trying to reach out, but I wasn’t going to hear one of his hate-filled tirades.
“Nothing’s changed, but I gotta live my life the way I see fit,” I argued, hoping that he’d just let it go.
“Kyle’s hot, I give you that. But River … Are you fucking kidding me? I’d give my toe just to breathe next to him.”
Anton liked to exaggerate.
“You’ve been close to him. You’ve hung out with the man several times now, and you’re still not over it.”
“Uh, yeah, but he gives me little seizures each time he’s a few feet away,” he easily confessed with a deadpan expression. “Never mind me. I know what you’re trying to prove to yourself here, but you gotta give your first love another chance, Cara. He’s earned it. You might not think so, but the guy did earn it, boo. I’m serious. He’s bending over backward, scramming and rearranging his schedule just to be with you. Doesn’t that deserve praise?”
He earned it, Anton’s words echoed in my brain, barely registering.
“I’m not ready.”To lay my heart for him to fuck with.“I can’t let go of the past, Anton. It’s hard to fathom, I get it, but I’m not ready.”
My best friend appeared disheartened. I knew he had my best interest, but he would never understand where I was coming from. He and Kells adored River—I did, too—but I wasn’t going to give up this newfound freedom because River made my heart beat once again. Besides, Kyle and I were having fun; what was the harm in that?
“As long as you know what you’re doing, that’s all I’m saying.”
I believed I did. Why else would I be doing this?
With that conversation out of the way, Anton and I concentrated with our mission at hand—sparring each other. I wasn’t sure why our instructor mandated such a task since Anton and I were both horrible; throwing odd punches that lacked strength indicated that we were such novices. I’m sure it was an entertainment for the others.
Even if my entire body ached, I still managed to get ready for lunch with Kyle. I had to compromise by wearing flats because wearing high heels would be overkill for my throbbing stems.
Just like before, I drove to our meeting spot, which was two blocks away from my place. Kyle was already waiting for me when I got there, dressed in his usual ensemble of cutout jeans, white shirt, and leather jacket. He had the sexy bad boy written all over him, and he never looked better. It was just a great coincidence that it was one my favorite seafood restaurants.
We lunched on superb crab cakes and succulent lobsters while sipping marvelous white wine. And like always, Kyle charmed me with his animated storytelling. It enabled me to enjoy the moment. He didn’t inquire about my past, nor did I mention that I was orphaned at a young age. Divulging my past was a painful ordeal I would rather not venture.
We then carried on by walking toward the pier and had ice cream for dessert before we strolled the beach. The seagulls were flying over us as I listened to the calm waves hit the sandy shores.
When was the last time I took a moment to appreciate my surroundings? I couldn’t recall the last time I stopped and glanced about.
“This is nice,” I murmured, looking up the bright sky before taking a lengthy lick of my coned treat.
Kyle nodded before murmuring his agreement. “I haven’t done this in forever.”
The hint of melancholy was unmistakable. It was that woman in England who broke his heart, the one he grew up with.
“Let me see, the last time was with Sienna?”
Lost in thought, he seemed a thousand miles away. “Yeah. It seems ages now, but I can still remember that day. It was right after she turned down after being proposed to by her husband now,” he stated, as though it was another man’s story, not his.