Shit. I look down at the message on my phone and I can practically feel MT’s panic bleeding through my screen. She’s freaking out. Again. And she needs me. Again.
I try not to feel resentful that karma is biting me on the ass because she needs me more now than ever. An even bigger burden to bear.
No sooner do I think that than guilt gnaws at me. I ditched Malia whenever it suited me, and I was only too happy to push her towards surfing with Cove because I wanted to be free of her at the time.
Discovering from my parents that Malia had been admitted to a mental institution was a massive shock. It completely shook my world, even with everything going on around campus. I felt so bad for neglecting my best friend. I knew she didn’t really have anyone but me here, but I had no idea things had become so bad for her. I thought she was making progress. I guess I should have stuck with her more, rather than jumping into my love life and trying to have the best experience as a college student.
I’ve never been so scared for my girl when I got that call. They wouldn’t let me see her the entire time she was in treatment, and the only updates I got were from my parents who have ties to the clinic. The first time I saw her was the day they called me to collect her from the hospital, by which time my parents had managed to fill me in significantly on Malia’s situation.
Still, I was so shocked by how different she looked. She was almost unrecognisable, and I’ve known her almost our entire lives.
I know she doesn’t have it easy – never has – but it feels different this time. I’m worried that moving to the other side of the world might not have been the best thing for her mental health. For a while she seemed to be okay, making friends even and starting to live a ‘normal’ life, but then something happened and she had this breakdown.
Seems to me like she still isn’t over it, the hospital and my parents both seem to think she’s stable enough to be allowed back out into society. I’m not so sure.
I read the message again and sigh. I don’t know if I should go straight over there or seek advice first.
Me: I’ll be right over. Don’t panic.
I hit send and then immediately dial my parents. They’re listed as Malia’s next of kin because they’re in LA long term on business and MT’s parents are back in the UK. It made the most sense in case there was an emergency, and unfortunately her parents seemed only too glad to be rid of her.
“Darling, everything okay?”
“I’m not sure,” I hesitate, wondering if it was silly of me to call my parents so soon.
“What is it? Is everything okay?”
“I’m fine, Mum,” I quickly reassure her.
“Is it Malia-Tarni? Has something happened?” I guess I should be glad she sort of asked about me first, but I know her real worry is Malia, not me. It’s understandable given that she’s like a second daughter to them, but it still smarts a little that she’s always made Malia her priority.
“I’m not sure.”
“What do you mean you’re not sure?” My mother’s tone is sharp, and I can sense her concern. Shit, maybe I shouldn’t have called until I’d seen Malia for myself.
“She sent me a message, she sounded pretty freaked out.”
“Is she taking her meds?”
“Yes, Mum.”
“How do you know? How can you be sure?” My mother’s panic is as palpable down the line as Malia’s was in her message.
“Because I administer them to her Mum, like we agreed I would.”
“Okay. And she doesn’t suspect anything?”
“She thinks she has agoraphobia.” Which is the story we agreed on.
“Good. Listen sweetie, I know you don’t entirely agree with our methods, but trust me when I say this is for Malia’s own good.”
“I know.” I sigh reluctantly. “I just hate seeing her hurting like this.”
“It would be much, much worse if we told her the truth, sweetie. We’re keeping her isolated and hidden for her own protection. If she needs to go out for any reason, you must be with her at all times and we want you to increase her medication while she’s out.”
“By how much?”
“Double it,” my father’s voice comes down the line, making me gasp.