“Spiders.” Ethan says this again more definitively, with a teasing, knowing smile.
I nod once. Purse my lips. “See? You know me so well, Ethan. Too well, I think.”
“Too well?”
“Yeah. You turned down that job, an amazing job.” I pause. “And you knew that I wanted to stay in Mirror Valley.”
“I did. On both counts.” He frowns. “But I can’t understand why you left like that.”
I shift again. Remember what Mom said about living life on the sidelines. I can’t have one foot out the door anymore, not when it comes to Ethan. I exhale. “Because hearing that you turned down the job made me wonder if you’re giving up on us again.”
Ethan blinks. “What?”
“You turning down the job triggered something for me. I worried that you didn’t think we could make it if you did accept it. That we still couldn’t do the distance or something. It brought me back to all those years ago. And that’s when I realized something really important…” I fiddle with the papers in my hand. “When we broke up last time, I stopped fighting, too.”
Ethan looks like he wants to say something. I keep going, knowing that I need to say this, and he needs to hear it.
“I was thinking of why we fell apart. Back then, I thought I was ready to fight, but I didn’t know what that meant. We never talked about it, and I didn’t say anything when you ended things. I should’ve tried instead of cutting you out. But we’re not going to repeat history. You said you want to fight for us, and I want to be brave and fight for us, too. And that means putting the past in the past, forgiving, and moving forward. It means talking about the hard stuff, and going all in, as terrifying as that may be.”
I pause. Ethan waits. I can’t remember the last time I was this honest with anyone, even myself.
“It also means that you can’t give up on your dreams in exchange for me.” My voice doesn’t waver. “You have to do what’s best for you, Ethan. I can’t stand the idea of you sacrificing your opportunities and giving up what you’ve worked so hard for. That’s not how relationships work—good relationships, anyway.”
Now, he opens his mouth. “But Va—”
“So we’ll figure it out. I want to figure it out with you.” My eyes sting a little as I push forward. “You’ve already given me so much, inspired me in ways you can’t understand. I’ve been trying to be this New Val for so long, this ‘highest self’ that felt at times completely unattainable. But over the last few days, with you, it was like she and I were one and the same. You help me feel like my best self. You help me feel brave.”
There, I said it. All of it.
My heart is out in the open, once and for all. I’m vulnerable and totally exposed.
And Ethan’s here with me. Placing a big, warm hand on my cheek. Looking at me with such intensity, my breath catches. “Can I be honest with you now?”
I nod.
“Val, you’re my favorite person in the world,” he starts. “I would be honored to do long distance with you. But I’m not giving up my dreams by turning down this job, I’m moving towards them.”
I frown. “What?”
“You were right,” he says. “You were right from the start. I never acknowledged to myself that being a chef wasn’t what I wanted until you vocalized it. You know me better than I know myself, and the moment you mentioned the bakery thing, the blinds lifted from my eyes.”
“So… what do you want then?”
Ethan’s lips tug up in a smile. “That’s what I was going to talk to you about earlier. I want to move back here. I’ve been chatting with Darla and Alan at the Valley Roast about buying the space. I want to open a cafe like the one that I loved in Aston Falls.”
“The Morning one?” I ask faintly.
“Morning Bell, yeah.” Ethan’s brow darkens. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about this earlier. I figured you’d understand seeing as you suggested the whole baking thing originally. Of course I want to do this with you. Make these decisions with you. Whether that’s here in Mirror Valley, or in Montana, or somewhere else entirely. I already know that I’ve got what I need to be happy. And I want to give you the world, because the world is what you deserve.”
I shake my head, hardly believing any of this. “You’re already giving me the world,” I whisper.
His eyes dance. “Not quite.”
He reaches into his pocket and presses something cool into my hand. “I’ve held onto this, could never let it go. It doesn’t have to mean anything, but it belongs to you, Val. It always has.”
When he pulls his hand away, I see a small, silver ring.
“We’re taking it slow, and I’m happy with that,” he says quietly. “So take this as my intention to date you and move forward with you. To fight for you even when things get hard, and there are hurdles and obstacles that seem insurmountable. As long as you want that, too.”