“Cool beans,” she says. “So, what are we doing about a coffin? Anyone got a cool black shoebox? A decorative coffin from Hot Topic? I could call Marilyn. She’s all gothy and shit. Did you know she didn’t go goth until Billy dumped her? If he wasn’t my cousin, I’d hate that boy. But my dude, I bet she’s got something coffin-y. Coffin-esque?”
“No,” I say quickly, not because I don’t like her friend, but because it’s humiliating enough with only four people to witness my complete mental breakdown.
She strides ahead to open the door, looking as much like a cute little fairy girl as always, even with her hair soaked and her oversized flannel and baggy jeans weighing down her tiny body. She gestures for us to enter, and Lennox leads me inside. I’m glad he’s not making me leave Poe outside or acting like it’s gross that I’m holding her.
Billy and Maddox are sitting at the table, a bottle of tequila on the gold-flecked surface between them. Maddox glowers at me resentfully, obviously of a different mind than his twin.
“We’re going to bury her bird,” Lexi announces. “Y’all coming to the funeral?”
“Poe,” I say. “Her name is—was—Poe.”
I swallow past the ache in my throat and avoid looking at Maddox, waiting for his cutting remark. “Yeah, we’re coming,” he grumbles, swiping the tequila bottle and standing.
“So… Shoebox?” Lexi asks, turning on her heel from one North brother to the other. Lennox pulls me in from behind, so my back is flush to his strong chest, and wraps his comforting arms around me.
Maddox frowns even deeper and takes a swig of tequila. Then he pushes past us and stalks down the hall. A minute later, he appears with an absolutely gigantic orange box from a pair of basketball shoes.
“Yeah, we were hoping for something a little more black and gothy,” Lexi says wiggling her fingers like she’s a witch who expects a spell to come out and transform the box. She smiles up at Maddox hopefully. “Got anything like that?”
“No,” he says flatly, opening the box and holding it out to me.
I don’t want to let Poe go, especially when I wouldn’t put it past Maddox to chuck the box in the trash and be done with it.
“Go on,” Lennox prods, nudging me gently. “You can let her go now.”
“Ooh, maybe a silk handkerchief would be good,” Lexi says. “Anyone got one of those?”
“Yes, because we’re all the fucking Queen of England,” Billy says, standing from the table and adjusting his ball cap. “Come on, Lex. It’s a bird.”
“It’s her pet,” she says, glaring at him. Then she turns to me. “My bra’s satiny, Rae. I know it’s not a satin lining, but maybe…?”
“You don’t have to do that,” I say, but she’s already unhooking it and working it over her arm while the North brothers watch as if hypnotized.
Billy snags the tequila from Maddox and takes a drink, then punches his teammate in the arm, hard. “Dude.”
“Sorry,” Maddox mutters, staring down into the box while Lexi pulls the bra out her sleeve and nestles it into the cavernous box. How big are his feet, anyway? And if what they say is true, he’s damn sure got it right about being too big for a virgin.
I shake the completely inappropriate thought away and carefully scoot Poe from my hands into the space Lexi arranged between the cups of her pink satin bra. Which is the last sort of undergarment I’d have expected from an irreverent grunge chick who lives in flannel, giant t-shirts, and shapeless jeans.
“Okay, great,” she says, clapping her hands together. “Now, let the handwashing commence before we all die of bird flu.”
I go to the sink and wash thoroughly, glancing over my shoulder at Maddox every few seconds to make sure he’s not lighting the coffin on fire. He’s good in the kind of crisis where someone needs their arms snapped in four places, but when it comes to being sensitive to someone’s feelings, he’s beyond clueless.
But he only closes the lid and waits, expressionless, while I finish up and join the procession. In the backyard, we stand near the fence where they dumped the pool sludge into a long, raised garden bed that runs the length of our privacy fence on their side. A stack of wire tomato cages sits at the end, and a dozen metal posts lean against the fence.
Lennox grabs a shovel out of their garden shed and comes back to dig a hole.
Maddox turns to me. “You want to lower it in?” he asks, holding out the box.
I take it, silently thanking him for not being a total dick for once in his life. When Lennox is done digging, I kneel and settle the box into the shallow grave.
“Want to say a few words?” Lennox asks me.
I shake my head, feeling silly enough already. Now that the shock has worn off, I can’t help wonder what they’re all thinking, if they’ll tell everyone at school that I went psycho over a dead bird. Lexi will only tell her friends, who are my friends, but Maddox knows everyone. He might just tell the whole school, like they told everyone that I broke up their party and turned them against me from the start.
At least they don’t know what happened before today, that I’ve been living in a shed for almost a month and talking to a dead animal.
“I’ll say something,” Billy volunteers before Lennox can throw the first shovel of heavy, wet dirt onto the garish orange box.