“Not quite,” Maddox says, climbing out of his chair and coming to mine.
I wait for his answer too, part of me expecting him to tell me he wants me to have a crow like the crew, even though it dissolved last year. I’m not sure if I hope he will, or if I hate the thought.
Without answering, he starts to pull up my dress. I grab it to keep from flashing the two other men. The owner’s son is around our age, maybe a few years older, and doesn’t look too happy about being dragged out of bed for this.
“What are you doing?” I hiss, widening my eyes at Maddox. “I’m not wearing underwear.”
“Shit,” he says, glancing around. Then he peels off his t-shirt and hands it to me. “Cover yourself.”
Without waiting for an answer, he pulls my skirt all the way up. I shove at his hands, wrestling to get the layers of fabric down again. “What the hell, Maddox?” I whisper, mortified that the others will see.
They studiously ignore us as they get their equipment ready.
“Either obey, or I’ll tie you up and have it done anyway,” he growls. “You’re damn sure going to remember this night for the rest of your life. And so is Lennox. How long that life lasts is up to you.”
He pulls out his gun, aiming it at the tattoo shop owner. “I want the blood tattooed on her. I’ll have this gun on you the entire time, so don’t fuck up unless you want to watch your son and then your wife die before you.”
Both the tattoo artists freeze, the son lifting his hands slowly.
“What the fuck?” I ask, whipping back to face Maddox. “Have you lost your mind?”
“Shut up,” he growls. “You fucking sent me to jail to get rid of me and never think of me again. You think I don’t have marks from that on me, ones I’ll carry the rest of my life? Did you really think it was going to be that easy to forget me, little girl?”
“I didn’t forget you,” I say, my throat tight.
“Good,” he says flatly, yanking my skirt up so he can see what he did to me. “And I’m going to make damn sure you never do. So sit there and take it. I know you can handle more pain than a little tattoo.”
“I’m not having blood tattooed down my legs! I’ll—I’ll never be able to wear shorts again!” I know it’s a ridiculous thing to worry about, but I’m too stunned by his request to think of a reasonable argument. He’s beyond reason, possessed by some inner demon that’s made him into something I don’t know, something that terrifies me to my very soul. Who asks for something like that?
“I’ll send you some of my basketball shorts for a wedding gift,” he says coolly. “Now cover your cunt and let the man work.”
He drops into the other chair and waves his gun at the son, unbuckling his belt with his other hand. “You’ll be doing me. Same thing. I want the blood on me to last forever.”
Maddox shoves his pants down around his thighs, and I look away, not wanting to see the evidence of what he did to me. He’s insane. He’s completely lost his mind. I should have known when he took my virginity like that, like a man possessed by demons or overtaken by that animal that rages inside him. It owns him now. He’s not the Maddox I knew, the boy who was cold and aloof but strangely protective.
I should have listened when he said I didn’t want to make an enemy of him. I saw how he treated Scarlet when she took my clothes, how he threatened the football players for messing with me and what he did to Lee when he saw the bruises. I’ve always known he has that inside him, but I loved him anyway. He was always a violent gangster, but he wasmyviolent gangster. Now I know what it’s like on the other side of his wrath.
He’s no longer protecting me. He’s destroying me.
Destroying his brother, his family, my marriage that hasn’t even had a chance. How will Lennox ever be able to have sex with me now? If he couldn’t before, when he onlythoughtI’d fucked Maddox despite my promises I hadn’t, how is he going to now that he’s seen it with his own eyes? He’s seen Maddox take my virginity, force me to take every inch of him, cum inside me. And now, he’ll have to see it again every time he looks down and sees the tattoos on my thighs. He’ll never be able to make love to his wife without remembering what his brother did to me, what he forced Lennox to watch.
The shop owner approaches me stiffly while Maddox keeps the gun trained on him. With shaking hands, I shove Maddox’s shirt between my thighs to cover myself. The guy gets between my legs, scooting his chair in, and I startle when the machine goes on, buzzing in his hand.
“You sure about this?” he asks, his face pale with concern.
I bite my lip and nod, avoiding his eyes. I think I might cry if I look at him. So I stare at Maddox instead, hoping he can see the rage and pain and hatred fueling my every breath.
But he doesn’t seem concerned. He’s showing the other guy his dick, showing him the bloody marks he wants to remember forever. Whatever glimpse of humanity I saw on the couch, it must not have been the guilt I took it for. I thought he was sorry for taking me so roughly when he realized I was a virgin, but obviously he doesn’t give a fuck. Maybe I fell asleep before that and dreamed the whole thing. A man who regrets his actions doesn’t tattoo them on himself so he’ll be reminded of them every day of his life.
The guy working on me looks at me every few minutes, but I can’t look. I can’t explain to him why I’m letting this monster mark me for life, can’t explain to him that it’s to save my husband.
Isn’t it?
Even I’m not sure anymore. This will kill Lennox as much as a bullet would.
After an hour or so, the son says he’s done, and Maddox says he can go back to bed. While he’s leaving and Maddox is at least a little distracted, the guy working on me nudges my hip with his elbow. “You need help?”
I widen my eyes at him, shooting a startled glance in Maddox’s direction. The door settles closed behind the son, and I don’t dare speak. The silence in the shop is deafening. Then the older guy turns on his gun again and starts working on my other leg. I adjust the shirt, trying to keep myself covered.