37
Kris
Easter Sunday, April 17th, 2022
Laying here, I have so much to unpack. Emotionally speaking. Those tests and Nicolette’s response to them have left me in an ambivalent state. I do not know if I am relieved or disappointed. I didn’t ramp myself up for either result, so I don’t have the benefit of any hindsight. She’s asleep, so I ne go out to the car and get all the stuff for her Easter trunk. Sneaking from the bed, I’m reminded of my parents. Reminded of how they did this for Claudette, and I’m sure for me before her. The Easter Bunny always had great stuff, and we always watched The Ten Commandments and King Of Kings on the TV. I’m a faithful man, not because it was thrust upon me, but because I have seen God in the eyes of a man that needed a miracle and got one. Nicolette will never know this, but I believe in God because of Bobby.
Getting everything together, I think about Claudette, about how even though she isn’t here, a part of her is. I am reminded of when my parents told me I was going to be a big brother. Remember not wanting to deal with it. I was fourteen, and a baby in the house was going to cramp things. I asked my dad why after all these years, they would want to go through all the diapers and late nights again. I remember that afternoon like it was just today.
We were on the houseboat right out on the lake outside. He sat me down, poured me a glass of OJ, and joined me.
“Son,” He smiled with those bright eyes of his. “When we had you, we were just this side of legal to drink. We were total kids, babies raising a baby. Having you meant we had to grow up together. We learned more in those first three years with you than all the years of college combined.” He laughed, and I smiled too. His laugh was always infectious. Mom came over, and I tried to ignore her. I didn’t want a sibling. But she hugged me until I conceded.
“Baby, after fifteen years.” She said in her soft way, “We’ve matured, or at least I have.” She rolled her eyes as dad made silly faces. “We are financially better and mentally more equipped. I would never regret having you, but if we could have waited a couple of years, your life would have been different. You had to wait for things, and that always broke our hearts.”
“I learned patience and appreciation by waiting.”
My dad grabbed my head, kissed it, and ruffled my hair. “See, we raised one smart kid with no training. Imagine the genius this one will be.”
That had us all laughing, and I settled into the idea of having a sibling. When Claudette was born, I swore to love her all my life, a promise that has outlived her, but I will never forget it was made. Looking down at my wrist, I see the bracelets. My wish had been that she would love fiercely and have someone that would return that to her. I will never know her wish, but as long as her heart beats in Nicolette’s chest, I will do what I have to in order to love them for as long as I have breath and permission.
I am the age my dad was when Claudette was born, and Nicolette is the age mom was when she had me. It would be the best of both worlds. The newness of her generation and the experience of mine. We’d have a great kid, but at the same time, maybe now isn’t the time. With careers relaunching, scandals to avert, and hearts that need care, it would be hard, but you know they say it's the things that are hard and that you have to work for that are worth it in the end.
The trunk is done, and I’m outside as the sun rises with coffee, and Bowzer, Cat, I’m sure, is still in the bedroom curled up in the bed. Looking out over the water, I hear a vehicle coming up the road. Bowzer barks, but the little chicken rightly stays at my side.
A white Silverado stops at my car, and Trudy comes hopping out of the passenger side, wearing what I imagine to be her Easter Sunday best bonnet and all. She waves before going into the back and pulling out two casserole bags. I watch with curiosity as she approaches with a huge smile.
“Happy Easter. We are on our way to services but wanted to bring these.” She passes the bags to me. “We weren’t sure if you all had anything for the special day.” She shrugs. “There’s a cranberry roasted ham and hot cross buns.”
I take the bags, “Wow, thank you, so much, you really didn’t-” I stop seeing another car approaching.
Trudy turns her head. “That would be Miss Clemmons, I believe there’s a garlic, and rosemary roasted lamb coming your way and probably a sweet potato and a chess pie.”
My chest tightens. “You didn’t have to do this. We are okay here.”
“Kris, you’ve been through hell for years but always been good to us in town. It’s high time we returned the kindness. We’ve all seen the papers, we know the shit storm, and we promise you two are safe here in our town.” Akin, Trudy’s husband, says collecting his wife. “Anything you guys need.”
I nod, trying to hold the tears as car after car starts pulling down my little dirt road.
The sun rises, and it’s nearly nine when I finish getting all of the food in the house and put up. I swear it was the entire congregation of Saint Peter’s Church that came to the house and left some sort of food. I want to take the day and, as it’s supposed to be beautiful here, go out on the big boat. She hasn’t seen it yet, but with a full kitchen, we can take a ton of this with us. But first, Brunch!