“I’m very glad you think so.” Kon gave her one of his devastating smiles. “You know I believe you are the best mother our son could possibly have.”
Emma wanted to believe that, but there was this tiny part of her that doubted. The part that could not forget she hadn’t been enough before.
She was doing her best to let those feelings go, but they persisted and reared their ugly little heads at the worst times.
“He’s really excited about the trip to Mirrus.” Went unspoken was Emma’s desperate hope Mickey’s enthusiasm would not be dashed by the royal family’s reaction to him, or to her.
“What about you? Are you looking forward to it?” Kon asked.
“Yes.” She might have her trepidations, but she really was. Emma had craved access to Kon’s life five years ago, now she was getting it. “I want to see where you grew up. I want to see the environment that helped define who you are, the place that will be so important to Mickey as he grows older. I want to know and understand Mirrus and its people.”
And thereby maybe understand Kon a little better. She’d thought she’d known him before. She’d been wrong. Emma had been blind to both his acute sense of duty before all else and his ruthlessness when faced with making something happen.
Whether those traits were personal, cultural or fostered within his family, Emma wanted to know.
“You’re such a special woman.”
“Am I?”
“I think so, yes. You see the world from your own unique perspective and in that perspective my being a prince is only part of who I am, not the definition of who I am.”
“Well, of course not. No single role can define any of us.” Wouldn’t life be boring if it did? “Even mine as Mickey’s mom does not define me entirely.”
Emma was also an artist, a bookkeeper, a friend...and a daughter, if estranged from her family. She was also Kon’s lover. All those roles played some part in making her who she was and defining the parameters of her life.
“But it is the most important role to you at the present.” He sounded very sure of that.
And, of course, he was right, only there was another role that was growing in importance to Emma. That of his lover and, possibly, one day his wife.
Not that she was saying so.
He had enough confidence without her giving any free boosts.
And because of Kon’s generosity, Emma’s art was consuming more of her time and talents in a good way, rejuvenating her and giving her an outlet for emotions she was in no way ready to acknowledge, much less express.
“Mickey is going to love having a grandfather, uncles and an aunt.” Emma still felt guilty she’d done so little to build a family of adults for him to trust in and rely on.
Her son should never have had to pay for her introverted nature and fear of rejection.
Kon nodded, his expression showing full agreement. “And a cousin in a few months’ time.”
Emma smiled, remembering Mickey’s reaction to that news. “He’s over the moon about that one.”
“He wants siblings.” Kon said it like a warning.
As if Emma wouldn’t know. “He told me.” That had been an interesting conversation. Not least of which had been because of Mickey’s final sally in that direction.
But what if Dad married someone else to give me a brother or sister? He wants more kids too, Mom.
Apparently Kon and Mickey had discussed it too. Which did not surprise her. Mickey could be very determined when his mind got set on something. What did surprise Emma was the shard of pain that sliced through her heart at the thought of Kon having children with someone else.
She’d thought she’d accepted that possibility long ago when he’d broken up with her so he could marry Nataliya. The marriage had never taken place, but Emma had prepared herself for the eventuality of it and what it would entail.
Or so she’d thought.
Her heart said, Don’t bet on it, no matter what her brain wanted to believe about Emma’s emotional distance gained.
“Nataliya’s mother is all set to play grandmother to him as well,” Kon said, for once clearly oblivious to the direction Emma’s thoughts had taken. “I think she and my father have something going on.”