She hoped he didn’t think she was flattered to have been his obsession. An obsession was an object, not the target of genuine emotions.
“If not the contract, then what?” she asked.
“I knew that if I did not cut you completely from my life, I might not be able to stick with the breakup.”
“You underestimated yourself. You broke up with me without looking back.”
She’d been devastated, her heart shattered by the realization that all the emotion she had been feeling had been entirely one-sided.
No, he’d never lied to her, but his actions, his intense passion, it had all convinced her younger, more naive self that his emotions were growing just like hers had been.
Emma had been devastatingly wrong.
“That’s the problem. I did look back. Too many times. And Tiana knew it. Although, I knew nothing about the restraining order, I think I know why she took it out.”
“Why?”
“She was protecting me from myself.”
“Because you told her that I was your obsession.”
“Yes.”
“And, good friend that she was, the crazy Queen lied and connived to take out a TRO on your behalf.” Unfortunately, from her limited exposure to Queen Tiana, Emma had no trouble believing that.
Though she didn’t think the woman had been protecting Konstantin. “She would have had her own reasons for taking out the TRO. I doubt very sincerely that woman ever did anything altruistically.”
“Why do you call her crazy? You have so much antipathy for her.”
“She threatened to steal my child.” Did he not get how serious that was? How awful and terrifying that threat had been to a twenty-year-old who hadn’t had the resources to fight a custody battle with a normal person, much less a monarch? “Sure she wrapped it up in legalese, but the end result would have been her taking my child to raise as her own.”
“That is a side of Tiana I never saw, but I believe you.”
“Do you really?” That would be a volte-face from the day before.
“Yes.” Nothing but sincerity rang in his tone.
“Well, that’s something.”
“Perhaps you could extend a little belief to me as well.”
Emma searched her own heart. Did she believe he hadn’t known about the temporary restraining order? The answer was more complicated than simple belief or denial. “I spent more than five years believing you were cruel and callous enough to take out the TRO.”
Changing her viewpoint of him wasn’t going to happen in a single conversation.
“And that shames me because you are right. Ultimately, it was my fault.”
Emma could not disagree. “I am willing to entertain the idea that you did not have anything directly to do with that. I’d rather believe that to tell the truth. I hated the idea that Mickey had a giant rat for a father.”
“Maybe just a small rat?” Konstantin tried teasing.
She shrugged, not kidding herself.
Even without him being the source of the TRO, Konstantin had treated Emma badly and it had taken her a while to realize that it was his fault and not hers. She hadn’t brought the pain down on herself. Innocence wasn’t stupidity. And being trusting was not a defect in her nature, but a strength. One that might cause her pain in the future as it had done in the past, but she would rather have pain than spend her life thinking everyone was a liar, or worse.
“You made unspoken promises to me with your actions,” she told him now, revealing an understanding that had come with a lot of soul searching and reading some very wise self-help books. “You implied a level of intimacy and even commitment that we did not have with how much you seemed to need me. Do you understand that?”
“But I told you our relationship was temporary.”