I push her into the room they point toward, and as soon as the door closes behind us, a male doctor steps up with a lazy smile. “Can you stand, Izzy? Can you hop on the bed?”
I don’t wait for her answer. I simply scoop her up and place her shaking body on the bed.
He smirks. “Okey dokey. I’m going to take these off, okay?” He taps her leg. He wants to take her pants off. I want to rip his fucking head off.
But Iz simply nods.
He peels her soaked pants and panties down her legs. My heart stutters and stops at the blood staining her legs. I should’ve called an ambulance. I wasted time driving her here.
“I’m going to put this on your stomach, okay sweetie?” A kind nurse steps forward and peels Iz’s top up. I stare at her beautiful big belly and watch the nurse strap probes on with a stretchy belt. I wait for Iz to cry in pain, but she doesn’t. The stretchy belt doesn’t hurt. “This will monitor your baby’s heartbeat, okay?” She turns dials and presses buttons as Iz and I simply stare in shock.
We’re in a warzone and bombs are going off in every single direction.
“Jimmy.”
I snap my gaze to Iz’s. Taking her tensed hand in mine, I hold it against my chest. “I’m here, Bubs. I won’t leave, I promise. What do you want me to do?”
“Juice.” Her voice is croaky. “I’m really thirsty. I’d really like some juice.”
The nurse makes a noise in the back of her throat. “I’ll get it for you in a second, sweetie. I’m just trying to find your baby.” Concentrating, she works with the probes and moves them around on Iz’s belly. All we hear is static coming from the machine.
No heartbeat.
Iz’s hand tightens around mine and draws my gaze back to her tears. “It’ll be okay, Bubs. I promise you, it’ll be okay.”
She nods, but her tears come heavy as the nurse struggles with that fucking machine. No heartbeat. Move the probes. No heartbeat. Move the probes again. No heartbeat, but then, the sweet sounds of a whooshing beat saturates the room and sends Iz’s face collapsing into my chest. “Oh God,” she cries. “I thought something bad happened.”
I lean in close until our foreheads touch. “We’ll be okay, Bubs. This’ll be okay. You’re doing so good.”
“I’m going to check your cervix now, okay?”
Tensing, my eyes snap up to the doctor. “Motherfuckers gonna do what?”
He smirks lazily. “Mommy needs a cuddle right now. Why don’t you do that, Daddy?”
In the space of a single Bean heartbeat, a hundred different thoughts flitter through my mind. One; Izzy does in fact need help right now. I’m being a jealous pig. Two; he called me Daddy. It’s not true, and yet, my anger dissipates.
Gone. Like smoke.
Iz whimpers and clasps at my hands, so with a nod that saysyeah, you can look at my girl’s vagina, but if you smile about it, I’ll kill you,I turn away and let him get to second base with Iz.
I tuck her face back into my shoulder and hold on tight to her shaking body. “Are you cold, baby?” She skitters up the bed. Right there, right that second, is the exact moment he touched her like I never have. I’d bet my life on it. “Bubs.”Focus. “Are you cold?” Her teeth chatter painfully, but before I can demand it, the nurse stops at my side with juice and a heated blanket.
I could kiss her.
I spread the blankets over Iz and cover her belly and the probes, then I crack open the juice and help her grasp it.
“Just small sips, sweet.” Iz ignores the nurse’s words and drains the bottle in two large gulps. Shaking her head, the nurse grumbles. “You’ll regret that.”
“Eight centimeters dilated.” The doctor smooths the blankets down over her legs and walks away to wash his hands. “It won’t be long till your baby arrives.”
“But I’m only thirty-five weeks.” Iz sniffles weakly. “Will he be okay?”
“We have an excellent special care nursery here just in case he’s not, but you’re almost full term and your baby has always measured ahead for gestation. I’m confident everything will be fine.” He walks to a folder on the counter and starts making notes. “I estimate we have another hour or so.”
“Another hour?” Iz grunts when another contraction squeezes her tight.
For the first andonlytime since this began, I’m glad it’s not my ‘fault’ that she’s pregnant. I’m not to blame for the pain she’s in right now.