“We took the babies to give her a break,” Jay mumbles.
“Give her the babies and some quiet.”
“Yeah, give me my babies.” Jess pulls away from Kane and walks to me. “Can you bring her to me in the living room?”
“O-okay.” I nod and follow her like a good little soldier.
Real tears are a man’s kryptonite. She can scream about women’s rights and jerky boyfriends all day long, but bring out the real tears and baby hormones, and I’m putty.
I follow her to the living room, and note the way Jay’s chair scrapes back on the tile floor.
He’s a good soldier too, when he has to be.
Jess slowly lowers to the couch, though I feel like she wishes she could throw herself down. She’s wearing pyjama pants and a spaghetti strap tank top, which she pulls down to expose most of her chest, but not the important bits. She lays back in the cushions, then takes Chicken – or Nugget – and lays back so the baby snoozes on her chest.
Jay follows suit, gently passing the baby while not looking at Jess at all, then we turn on our heels and sprint out of there before we’re caught in a torrent of tears.
Kane watches from the doorway, but when we pass him and move back to the kitchen, he moves closer to Jess and begins whispering things that should remain between him and his girls.
“We’re gonna take care of it,” Jay says. He’s quiet, to keep it away from Jess and Kane, but he pulls his chair back out and sits. “We’ll fix it.”
I go back to stand in front of the sink and fold my arms. Abigail’s face flashes through my mind like a flicker show, her expressions ranging from downright pissed to the kind of happy I feel lucky to have been witness to.
Kane can’t fix this, because he has to stay with Jess. Which means it’s on me and Jay. Which means thinking of Abigail hurts, because sooner or later, I’ll be leaving.
“Yeah, we’ll fix it,” I say quietly.
“Eric can’t help us. His kid has more surgery coming up, so he’s gotta stay with Katrina.”
“Mm.” I nod and keep my lips shut when Kane walks back into the kitchen with haunted eyes.
He sits back in the chair he began in, and drops his head with defeat.
I lift my chin and try to peek back into the living room. “She okay, boss?”
He nods, but it’s more of a confirmation that I spoke, than a response to what I said. “She’s asleep.”
“She’s exhausted.”
Again, he nods. “We’re both up every night. I try to help, but though we’re doing formula, she’s still awake every time they are. Her body has been torn to pieces, and her hair is coming out in chunks.” His eyes meet mine. “Tell me that’s normal. Because it’s my fault my babies fucked her up so bad.”
“She chose the babies too,” Soph murmurs. “She’s tired and hormonal, but she doesn’t regret you guys.”
“Did you read that off the net?”
She grins. “Yup. I’m on a ‘What To Expect’ mommy forum. They’re all tired and psycho, but they don’t regret it.”
“What do they say they want from their men?”
She scans her screen, and as she goes, her smile grows. “They want to be hugged. And told they look pretty, even in maternity pants. And if the babies allow it, some chocolate in their diet.”
Kane’s eyes narrow. “They can’t eat chocolate yet, right?”
She snickers. “In Jess’ diet, stupid. Don’t feed newborn babies anything but milk.” She shakes her head. “Try the candy. Hug her, call her beautiful, buy her chocolate, and get her snacks as soon as she wakes up. She’ll be better in a few days.”
“She will?”
She shrugs. “Still tired, but less blue. And maybe call Laine. Jess wants her sister.”
“Solid plan. Laine’s at school today, but I’ll bring her back as soon as she’s done.” He leans back in his seat and glances into the living room.
Jess lays on her back with her head on the armrest and her babies on her chest. They sleep on their stomachs, their faces dimpling and puckered from being smooshed against her.
“I don’t think I can leave them, guys. Not even for a night. Or an hour.” He sighs. “Or even a minute. She’s right; I helped make them. I don’t get to run out now, when she needs me here.”
“Jay and I are gonna do it. Whenever Soph gives us the go, we’ll head out and fix it. You take care of shit here, and keep us updated on Mac’s surgery.”
Kane’s eyes snap to Jay; worry, fatigue, crippling worry again. “Jay? No.”
Chuckling, Jay claps the back of his brother’s head and pulls him in for a half hug. “I’ll be fine. I’m not going anywhere yet, and when we do, we’ll do it up so you have our vitals around the clock. We don’t fuck this up a second time.”