“I mean it, Priss. I want this.”
“You haveno cluewhat you’re asking for. This isn’t a life anyone should run toward.”
“I’m running.” He leans forward and stares into my eyes. “I’m asking you to say yes. I’m asking you to join my team and let me fight with you. I’m staying by your side no matter your answer, but we can be one. We can be a team, and teams are always stronger than a single individual.”
“Spencer… no.”
“Let’s go through the formalities now. Become my wife today, let me fight with you, and whenwe’redone with chemo and shit,we’llcelebrate with a real wedding. You can buy any dress you want. You can have as many tiers on your cake as you’d planned. We can do it in a castle, if that’s what you want. But for today, just say yes. Tomorrow, our fight begins. And I promise, I never lose.”
“That’s true,” Jay adds. “Have you ever played Go Fish with this guy?”
“Dude.” Spencer looks to his friend, purses his lips, and jerks his chin as though to say ‘go away,’ but Jay shakes his head and shrugs.
“I gotta stay until she says yes. It’s part of the rules.”
“Priss.” Spencer’s eyes come back to mine. “If you say yes, we can make him go away.”
I laugh. I cry. I want so badly to say yes.
“I have nothing to offer you,” I say instead. “My body is broken, my health is unreliable, my cooking is average, and I haven’t learned all that sex stuff you want me to do.”
“Ohhpp!” Mitch’s face turns green as he circles back out of the room and his cheeks fill. “Nope. Nope. Nope. I can’t get on board with this.”
Spencer chuckles. “He’ll come around, Priss. I promise he will. And… the answer is you.” When I frown, he adds, “You haveyouto offer, and that’s all I’m asking for. I just need you, your brain, your lips, your sass outside of the bedroom–”
“Don’t say it, Serrano. Don’t you fuckin’ say it.”
Spencer smiles at Troy’s snapped words. Leaning in, he presses a gentle kiss to the warm skin behind my ear. “Your submission in the bedroom.” He pulls back. “I love everything about you. If you want babies, we’ll make it happen with science. If you want new, non-deadly boobs, I’ll buy them for you. If you want a purple wig to wear while undergoing treatment, I’ll buy you one in every shade. But I don’t care about your hair. I don’t care about your boobs. I don’t care about your ovaries.” He presses his hand to my heart. “This is the only thing I can’t live without. Your heart, baby. It’s what I fell in love with. It’s what I felt while I was away. It’s what has me coming back to you time and time again. The rest is just aesthetics.”
He steps back and takes my hand between his. His is so much larger than mine. All those tattoos. All that color against my pale skin. All that judgment I laid on him without trying to know him.
“Marry me, Priss. I’m gonna love you anyway, I’d rather do it with your permission.”
My tears flow. My head throbs from a crying-headache. My single remaining breast is trying to kill me, and my brothers are going to kill Spencer.
But then a flash of blue in the hall catches my eye. It’s a vibrant blue, just someone’s shirt as they pass my room and continue on with their evening. But it’s the blue of Marcie’s butterfly.
It’s a reminder that, if she was here, and not laying somewhere else in this hospital while she awaits her final resting place, she would tell me to say yes. She wouldscreamfor me to say yes. She would shove me against him, and tie us together with ropes until the promises stuck.
More importantly, she would be disappointed in me if I said no because I was scared.
I meet his eyes again and bite my bottom lip to stop the sobs that want to come. “I’m so scared of dying and losing you.”
He steps forward and pulls me close until he’s holding me up again. He kisses my tears away. He holds me together and nods. “I’m scared too. I’m so fucking terrified. But if you say no, I lose you anyway. Say yes, and we’ll fight hard together. Say yes, and we’ll make it all better.”
My entire body shakes as I give a jerky nod. “Okay.”
I feel his heart stop. It literally, actually stops, and his eyes snap to mine in shock.
“Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay. I think technically we’re already married anyway.”
“You gotta kiss,” Jay interjects. “Kiss it out. Add some tongue to make sure it’s legit. Then we’re all set.”
“Okay.” I swallow my nerves and meet Spencer’s eyes. “I do.”
His lips crash down onto mine so fast, I don’t have time to draw my breath. Those black dots fill my vision, because he takes my air and my kiss and myyesuntil my legs turn weak, but then he gives them all back. He fills my lungs and murmurs “Yes, yes, yes”against my lips. He lifts me a foot off the ground, and kisses me until my lips swell and my brothers declare his death, but I still don’t care.