“Boobs are nice,” Spence croons. “But I still want you. Without Abigail, boobs hold no pleasure anyway.”
“They’re talking about Abby Cadabby’s boobs. Make it stop.” Mitchell’s chest heaves and almost,almostadds a humorous flair to this completely unfunny conversation.
“I’ll never have your babies.”
It’s definitely not funny. But it’s a million times worse when Spencer’s face drains white.
“If you stay with me, you will never get to create a baby of your own. Your bloodline will die with you.”
“What?”
Tears flow over my cheeks, blinding me from everything but the sheer size of him in front of me. “One long course of chemo already messed me up. A second, more aggressive round will finish it off. And even if I’m not forced into menopause, and the possibility is still there, I don’twantto make babies with my genes. I refuse to pass this on to my daughter.”
“Well… I mean…”
I nod when he chokes on his words. “You didn’t even know you wanted kids until the option was taken away. Now you can’t get it out of your head, right?”
He’s stunned. He moistens his bottom lip as his eyes follow each move I make. “I dunno.”
“I can’t do the one thing women were made to do. I can’tmakea baby. I can’tfeeda baby. I can’t even survive my own body without constant worry and surgery. Medications. Panic attacks. Frailty. Fragility. I will always be small and weak. I will never be like your Ashley.”
“Who the fuck is Ashley,” Beckett demands. “Because she sounds like a fuckin’ homewrecker to me.”
“She’s notmyAshley,” Spencer insists.
I swipe my palm across my face and collect the annoying tears. “It’s time for you to go, Spencer. It was fun, and I loved you. Right up deep in my heart.” I take his large hand and press it over my chest. “I’ll never be sorry for knowing you. But you can go, no hard feelings. You don’t have to stick around for the rest of this show.”
“Just like that?” His voice shakes. “You dismiss me just like that, and you don’t even ask how I feel about it?”
I nod. “I already know how you feel. You wanted fun, you wanted to conquer something that no man has before.”
“Oh god. Nope.” Mitch walks out of the room amid mock gagging sounds. Or maybe they’re real. I’m not sure.
“You wanted me because I was a fun game. You got it, and now you’re desperately searching for an out.” I reach up and cup his cheek. “You can go. I can be strong enough on my own.”
“I can go…” He holds my hand against his cheek and closes his eyes. “I can go, because you’re strong enough to keep going?”
“Yes.”
More faces show up behind Spencer. Kane is back. Jay. Sophia. Eric. Angelo, the quiet guy with the quiet blonde. None of them should be here, but they follow rules just as strictly as my brothers do.
“And you’d rather I left? You don’t want me to watch this?”
“I want you to be happy.” My breath hitches painfully in my chest. “I’ll miss you. And I’ll never be bitter about what we had. I got attached to you, Spencer. My heart went and got involved, but I’m not sorry.”
“You’re not sorry…”
Maybe he’s in shock too, because he simply repeats my words, as though he needs help processing his thoughts.
“Please don’t fight my brothers on the way out the door. I’m begging you, don’t fight them. They love me. You love me. You all want the same for me; safety, happiness, health. You think you’re at war with each other, but really, you’re on the same side.”
“I won’t fight them, Priss. I promise.”
My lips quiver with our goodbyes. “Okay.”
“One last kiss?” He cups my cheeks and steps impossibly closer. “Just one?”
My eyes flash to Troy’s in fear. If I kiss this man in front of them, I’ll have to break up another fight. I don’t want them at each other’s throats, but I want to kiss Spencer so much that I’m scared I won’t survive if I don’t.