“You okay, Ab?”
Nixon hardly pays attention to my other escort. He doesn’t hate him, but he doesn’t like him either. Kane is of theotherfamily, from Spencer’s side, so he does nothing more than ignore his existence and give Kane his back, speaking as though it’s just the two of us as we walk the hall and enter the elevator.
I don’t have a lot to say, because I’m not okay. I think I’m in shock, and my instinct is to turn around and head back up to the oncology ward to hang out with Marcie.
I was visiting her, bringing her comfort and company. But in reality, it was she who was bringing me comfort. I needed her far more than she needed me, but now she’s gone, and the hole she left behind will never be filled.
In silence, our trio exits the elevator on the ground level and make our way through the lobby and exit out the double electric doors. The parking garage is to the left, but my feet turn right and head across the grass Marcie and I have walked in the past. The bench we’ve sat on remains exactly where it should be.
Just because she’s gone doesn’t mean the world ceases to exist. And that alone is devastating, because it should. We should all cease to exist.
Marcie was worth more than a blip in the universe. She was more important than that. But no one else seems to notice or care.
My legs quiver as I make my way across the lawn, then I run my hand across the timber of the bench, carefully, because I don’t want to get a splinter. The guys watch my moves, but I ignore them as easily as Nixon ignores Kane.
I circle around to the front, stop in the center, then drop down and sob when a blue butterfly stops on the arm of the seat and watches me.
I’m not ready for her to visit me from the afterlife. And I’m mad that she thinks this is a decent replacement, when we should be upstairs watching a movie and flirting with Spencer.