Her eyes continue to sparkle. “I want to make love to you.”
I scrunch my eyes closed and drop my forehead to her chest. “It’s like you’re tempting a starving dog with a steak, Abigail. You’re killing me.”
“You don’t want me?”
“I want you more than I want to fucking live.” I push my cock against her hip and absorb her gasp. “But you said no. You said you weren’t giving that to me earlier, and I refuse to take advantage of your post-orgasm good mood.”
“Post-orgasm good mood.” She grins and wiggles her hips beneath me. “I am in a good mood, that’s true. But I was coming here today to give myself to you.”
“You–” Surprised, I pull back and meet her eyes. “What?”
“Life is really short.” She slides her hand between us and strokes my cock with the tips of her fingers.
That alone shouldn’t undo me, but it’s damn near close. She unmans me. She’s my downfall, but I don’t even mind.
“I remembered today that it could all be gone in a flash. And I know we’d both regret it if I didn’t do this. I would always wonder if I walked straight past the man I was supposed to be with.”
“You don’t have to have sex with me to be with me.” I never thought I’d say that. I never thought I could be so selfless, but she makes me a better man. She makes me want to be better. “I want to be with you, Abigail. I want–”
“To be with me fully, just like I want to be with you. You’re the only one on this planet that could do this and be as gentle as I need. You’re the only one who would take care of me.”
She brings my cock to her opening so I feel her fiery hot center. It’s an inferno, but so wet and welcoming. She lines us up without her hands shaking.
My body knows what’s happening. My cock knows what’s so close. And together, they’re telling my brain to fuck off and stop interrupting this. My hips try to jut forward, but if I push in the way I want to, I’d tear her up in the cruelest way.
“Please make love to me, Spencer. I want to be with you.”
I stare into her eyes. “You need to communicate with me, okay? Tell me what hurts and what feels good. You need to be honest every step.”
She eagerly nods. “Okay.”
“Promise?”
Again, she nods. “Promise. Is it…” She hesitates. “Is it going to hurt?”
“Yes.” Honesty is a two-way street. I can’t lie to her. “Yes, it’s going to hurt. We only got up to two fingers, and that was a stretch for you. This is going to be much bigger.” I slowly, so very slowly nudge the head of my cock forward. “You might bleed a little bit later, but it’s normal. I swear.”
“Okay.” She gulps and clutches to my back. “It’s gonna be okay. I trust you.”
She fucking slays me. She trusts me when she’s never been given reason to do so. She gives me her most precious gift, and does it selflessly, in the name of love, when I haven’t even reciprocated her words.
I nudge inside her warmth so slowly that it almost feels like I’m not moving at all. She squeezes me so tight it feels impossible. Her breaths grow faster, and when I’m just an inch or so in, she squeaks and tenses beneath me. “That bit hurt.”
I give a breathy chuckle and nibble on her lips. “I could tell. I’m sorry, babe. I’m sorry it hurts you.”
“It’s okay. Keep going.” She wraps her legs around my hips and tries to pull me forward with her feet. “Go slow, but don’t stop.”
Nodding, I come down and play with her lips. I distract her up top and hope she doesn’t focus on what we’re doing down there. Though, of course, it’s impossible. Her face scrunches so little wrinkles fan out from her eyes when she slams them shut. Her body hardens, tenses, and her pussy tries to push me out.
“Relax, beautiful. Try to breathe through it.”
“I can’t.” She pants as though having a damn baby. “I don’t think it’s gonna fit.”
“I’ll fit, I promise. Look at me.” I bring a hand up and stroke the side of her face. “Hey, look at me for a second.” When she does, I smile and press a kiss to the tip of her nose. “We have to fit. Because we were created to be together.” I nudge in a little more. “We were two puzzle pieces cut from the same mold. We must fit. The universe says so.”
A tear slides over the side of her face and into the hair at her temple. “What if we don’t?”
“What if we do?” I lean forward and follow the trail from her eye to her ear. “I love you too, Abigail. And I’ve never said that to a woman before.”