Meg flashes a filthy grin and leans back against the wall. “He sure is. He wants to eat you right up. One delectable bite at a time.”
“Shut up!” I turn back to my locker and take out a tube of lipstick. “I don’t know the guy, Meg. I don’t know his people. I don’t know his work. A guy can’t just turn up and start staring and expect me to be cool with it.”
Shrugging, she walks across the small room and strokes the back of my hair as though I missed a bit. “You’re allowed to have a little fun, you know? Your son is a teenager, not six months old. Single moms are allowed to sleep with other single people. Nobody will judge you.”
“Zeke has another baby on the way.” I push the cap onto my lipstick and toss it into the locker. Slamming the door and turning, I meet Meg’s eyes. “My good-for-nothing, jobless, brainless idiot of an ex just goes with the wind. He does whatever the hell he wants; he fucks women in every town he passes through, knocks them up, walks away like he’s not hurting people, and every time I find out, I have to decide whether or not to tell Mac. Zeke is using up all of ourwind, Meg, so there’s none left for me. I won’t do that to Mac. No way in hell.”
Her eyes sparkle with hurt. “How many are there?”
“Three! Four. I don’t know. Honestly? Probably more than a dozen.” I push my hands over my face and groan. “How can he so easily walk away from his own children? His own flesh and blood. How could I be so stupid to hook up with him?”
“You were fifteen, Katrina. You were a child. We’re not emotionally capable of making those choices when we’re that young.”
“Well, I still did it! I still went to bed with a dog, and now I have fleas.”
“You need to stop letting someone else’s actions dictate how you feel about yourself. So you slept with a dude fourteen years ago. So what? So did I. At least you didn’t marry your idiot. You’re free of him, babe. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you are. You’re the woman every other chick in this town envies for your strength and determination. You raise your son like a boss; you work damn hard and have just about every man in town watching his p’s and q’s in case they swear in front of Mac and you rip them apart. I know it all feels so hard, but you need to stop letting Zeke’s actions dictate your life. You’re not responsible for the man child. He’s not gonna settle down and become a decent human being just because you told him to, and you fretting over it won’t change a damn thing.”
I hate the hot tears that sting my eyes. I hate the way my heart races and makes me sick to my stomach. “You make it sound so easy, but it’s not. We can’t afford to make waves, Meg. We live our lives, wait our thousand days, and we hope he remains too stupid to fuck shit up for us.”
“It is easy!” she shoots back. “Zeke Douglas is just a stranger to you. He hasnothingto do with you. Act that way! It’s not like I run around freaking out about what my ex is doing.”
“But Zeke is my son’s father. It’s different!”
“Since when?” She throws her hands up. “When was the last time he did anything that could be described as fatherly? Anything at all?”
I remain silent.
“Did he visit for Mac’s birthday?”
Silence.
“What about Easter? Last Christmas? Did he send a congratulatory gift for finishing middle school and starting high school? Does he even know Mac is in school at all?” When my silence goes on, she nods. “Exactly. He has absolutely no bearing on Mac’s life. That’s all you. You raised him to be this super awesome badass who helps grandmas in the street and shovels the sidewalk for any one of us if we ask. You slept with a dude a long ass time ago, and you got knocked up. Big friggin’ whoop. You’re not a child anymore, Katrina, and nobody is going to get mad if you take the sexy Eric for a spin.”
“I’m not taking anybody for a spin! Jesus. He has nothing to do with this shit with Zeke.”
“If he has nothing to do with it, then why are you always mad at him?”
“I’m not– I just– Ugh!” I step around her and take the door handle. “But no doubt the whole town heard me yell at you, so that’s awesome. I love when people know my business.”
“It’s notyourbusiness, remember?” She relentlessly follows me into the hall and snags her baby bag on the way past. “It’s Deke’s.”
“Zeke’s.”
“Whatever. It’s his business, his uselessness, his laziness, his sperm. His bad choices have nothing to do with you.”
I move through the hall and into the diner with plans to refill everyone’s coffee in apology for the free entertainment, but I come to a skidding stop when I find Meg’s baby in a red booth, standing on the table while he holds on to Eric’s hands and blows smiley spit bubbles. Mac sits in the next booth on his knees and watches over Eric’s shoulder.
My son’s double dimples pop as he plays with the baby, and my heart gives a yucky splat because the man I’ve unfairly dubbed my arch nemesis makes my heart ache while he plays with that baby.
Every good girl wants to bag a bad boy.
Every single mom’s ovaries quiver when she sees a good-looking man play with a cute baby.
I close my eyes and draw in a long breath, then I blow it out again and prepare to eat crow. Meg watches me with a teasing smirk and a puckered expression. “I swear, watching Marcus play with Chance like that always gets my engines revving.”
“Shut up.” I snatch up a fresh coffee pot and make my way around to each occupied table. I whisper my apologies, pat shoulders, accept smiles of sympathy, then I reach Eric’s table and barely control my legs before they run my stupid ass into the street.
I drag his empty mug closer without a single word, pour halfway, then push the mug away from Chance’s reach. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”