“Wanda?” My brows pull close. “Oh, the car. Yup, I think so. Just gotta put the time in now.”
“So…” Her bare foot slides along the back of the opposite calf, like a nervous shuffle. “Before my freak out the other day, I mentioned wanting this car…”
“You don’t want it anymore?”
“Oh, yeah, I totally think I do. I’m just making sure you remember. I’m making sure my breakdown didn’t nullify my statement. I want it so bad, I’m considering pulling all-nighters to finish it up, then I’ll drive her into the sunset when you’re not watching.”
God, I hope not.
“I won’t sell it out from under you. Don’t worry. You get first dibs, and a discount, considering the work you’re doing.”
She snorts. “I’m pulling it apart. That’s the easy part; any toddler can smash a puzzle apart, but I gotta get it back together again, and I guarantee, I’ll have spare bits leftover that I really shouldn’t.”
I savor my coffee and close my eyes.
Tiny sleep shorts. Bent over a classic car. A smile on her lips.
Kill me now.
“I’ll help you.”
“Yeah?” I open my eyes to find her studying her work with a grin. “I was counting on it. So when we get to the sunset thing, I’m gonna need you to turn around and count to ten.”
No.
“What was that thing you wanted to talk about? You said on the phone you wanted to ask me something.”
“Oh… yeah.” And just like that, her smile dims. “So, I had a bad dream, right? I told you that.”
“Yeah.” I sip and pretend my heart isn’t racing. I don’t dare ask for details of the dream. I don’t want to know, and I don’t want her to relive it.
“Right, so I woke up and went to the bathroom to wash my face. Since… everything that happened, I’ve had somewhat of a fear of men.”
Somewhat. “Uh-huh.”
“And guns. I mean, I wasn’t a gun enthusiast before, but I wasn’t scared either. They were just something I never experienced until I did.”
What the fuck kind of experience does she have with guns?
Like she can read my thoughts – or more accurately, my blazing eyes – she shakes her head. “I really,reallydon’t want to talk about it. But, an hour ago, I woke from this dream, and I wanted to vomit. I ran to the bathroom and washed my face with cold water, and when I closed my eyes, I saw your face.”
“Mine?” I set the coffee down and stand. “No. Don’t do that, Laine. Don’t put me there. Don’t compare me.”
“No.” She rests a hand on my forearm when I get too close.To hold me near? To keep me back?“No. I’ve been struggling with that, too. A few days ago, I was terrified of doing exactly that. I didn’t want to vilify you, so I stayed away. I didn’t want you anywhere near me while I’m in this…” She blows out a frustrated grunt. “Thisspace. This really volatile mental situation. I’m not who I used to be anymore, Ang. I used to be wild and silly, and I could laugh everything off. Now I’m three more crying jags away from admitting myself into a mental hospital somewhere far away. I’m not the fun girl anymore. I’m walking a thin wire, so it’s easier to push everyone away, rather than take them down with me. But an hour ago when my hands were shaking and Graham was in my head, I thought of you. I thought of that time at Infernos Club when you…” She looks up with flaming eyes. “You ran through fire, Ang. You ran through a fucking fire. You came to me, you got me out. You didn’t treat me like fine china. You held a gun, took care of business. You shot someone on the way out of that club.”
I swallow the bile in my throat. “I didn’t know you knew that. I didn’t think…”I didn’t think she saw.
She nods. “I saw. I was scared out of my head, because I didn’t know that version of you. You were always my friend. Dependable and safe, and somewhat exasperated with our shenanigans. But then you ran through a fucking fire.” She stops and presses a hand to her heaving chest. “You showed me what it’s like to be protected. You made me safe. You brandished that gun like you were born with it in your hand.”
I take a step closer and wait for her eyes. “I’m not sure where you’re going with this.”
“I didn’t know you owned a gun.”
“I didn’t, it was Bishop’s. We met that day when he tried to steal my car to get to Jess. I came along for the ride when he said some fuck had taken you. He said you were in danger, then he offered me a gun. I took it.”
“I didn’t know you knew how to shoot.”
I chuckle, but it’s humorless and full of dread. “I didn’t. He gave me a three second tutorial while we drove.Sig Saur, twenty bullets, double action trigger. Get the girls, run the fuck away.”