“And Britt sat on her board and watched. We didn’t stop until X got home and yelled at us. Do you remember what he said?”
I nod. “Boys are dumb, and we should never let them get between us.”
“And we thought that was so silly, because he’s a boy, and he was calling boys stupid.”
“Alex has never made sense when he’s up on his soapbox.”
She snickers. “Right. He rarely makes sense. There’s real life logic, then there’s Alex logic. His is rarelylogical, but it always centers around how family comes first.”
Fresh, hot tears slide over my cheeks. “I chose Graham over you.”
“Not anymore. He’s done now, and we still have the traffic cone thing. But as far as we’re concerned, he doesn’t exist. Now we’re back to who we were before that night in the club.”
“I think my therapist might frown at the denial route. She’d rather I talk it out instead of brush it under the rug.”
“Right. Well…” She shrugs. “You do your thing with Sonia, since she has that fancy degree and knows what the crap she’s talking about, and I’ll go with the setting him on fire and pretending he doesn’t exist thing. You know what we should do?” Sitting taller, she turns with a grin. “We should take that road trip. Summer’s coming, so it’s the perfect time.”
“I dunno…”
“Why not? School’s almost out. I can take time. There’s no reason why we can’t go.”
“Jules will have her baby soon. She’ll need you at the office while she’s home tearing her vag apart.”
“We’ll put signs all over town. No one’s allowed to break the law for a whole summer. Or if they do, they can have Dolly as representation.”
I snort. “She’d probably be really good at it.”
“No doubt. Every judge will rule in her favor to get her to shut the hell up.”
“I haven’t visited with her in a while.” The robust woman with sass for years and a sharp tongue works at the truck stop twenty-five minutes outside town. Somehow, in some strange twist of fate, she ended up somewhat adopting us and becoming our milkshake supplier. She let us sit in her booth for hours and hours while we grieved.
Jess grieved for Kane.
And I grieved for me.
Dolly was kind and provided endless love and support to a couple of crying messes, and though I got mad at Jess for choosing Kane over me, I chose me over Dolly. She was ready to move in with us so she could hug more, but then I simply ghosted.
“Hey.” Jess’ hand comes back to my cheek. “We can go back. We’ll visit with her and let her clog up our arteries. It can be the first stop on our epic road trip. We need to get gas from somewhere; may as well make it Dolly’s.”
“You really wanna go?”
Water droplets fall from her lips when she nods. “Yes. I really, really wanna go. Soon. Jules is like eleven hundred months pregnant, so she’ll drop that baby soon. Once it’s out and everyone is safe, we’ll load up.”
I giggle. “You called our niece or nephew anit.”
“That baby is half Alex, half Jules. It’s definitely coming out anit.It’ll be scary, and will probably come out with a gun and a law degree.”
I let out a weary sigh. I haven’t talked with my sister in so long. I’ve been bordering on mute for months, so this shower has been the most talking I’ve done in ages.
It’s definitely the most I’ve laughed.
The most I’ve hoped.
I study the soaked bandage on my wrist. “They’re gonna get mad at me for getting this wet.”
Jess shrugs and begins unwrapping the useless bandaging. “It doesn’t matter. They can fix it again.” Gently, she unravels the fabric to reveal ugly black stitches that make my breath catch.
I tried to kill myself.