“No!” Ang steps between us and shoves the guy back. “No! She fell outta bed.”
“Move out of the way, man.”
“She’s not in danger, and she’s not dangerous to anyone else. She fell outta bed, so back the fuck up and give her space.”
“Whose blood is that?” The nurse steps around Jess’ side. “Who did that?”
“That’s from her wrist,” Kane answers. He sets Jess on her feet and throws an arm over her shoulders, pretending like she wasn’t just fighting to be let loose. “Laine fell outta bed, and the cords pulled outta her. Instead of staring at us like we’re criminals, how about you do your job and help your patient?”
“No.” I accidentally slam the IV pole against the wall when I back up. “No more needles right now. I need to use the bathroom.”
Angelo steps out of my way, but he takes the guy with him. “She’s gotta pee. Let her through.”
On bare feet and in an ugly hospital gown, I slip past Angelo and breathe again when he doesn’t reach out to grab me.
My hands shake, my teeth chatter, and my lips wobble; and when the nurse steps in my way, barring the doors, my heart shatters.
“Not alone, Miss Lenaghan. You know the rules.”
“Did you leave a knife in there?” I cry the way I did when we were kids and I felt our parents were punishing me unfairly. “No! You didn’t. I just want a damn minute alone!”
“Call Sonia.” The nurse turns to someone I don’t see in the hall. “Get her down here, then send for the doctor on shift. We need something to calm her down. She needs to rest.”
“No!” I swing the bathroom door open and blind myself with the bright automatic lights. “I don’t want a damn sedative, and I don’t want a babysitter. I want to pee and I want a fucking shower. Why is that so difficult to understand?” I push into the bathroom and slam the door closed, but there’s no lock. Of course not; this is crazy girl room where locked doors and random knives are dangerous.
Stepping into the shower cubicle, I flip the taps on and move under the hot spray. My hands shake, my knees shake, my whole fucking body shakes, all because even in my dreams, Graham hurts me.
Reaching out to the soap Jess brought, I pump it into my hands, soaking the bandage covering my forearm. Blood trickles from the hole the IV left behind, but I don’t care, I simply lather the soap and start scrubbing. I scrub with my nails. I scrub away a layer of skin, and when I still feel the filth, I tear my gown off, and scrub at my scarred and mottled body.
The door creaks open, but I don’t turn. I don’t care who it is.
“Just send the security guy already.” Tears slide along my cheeks and join the shower spray. “Have them send me to the crazy hospital. I’m done.”
“No.” Jess’ voice reaches me only half a second before her hands do. She turns me and tucks my head into her neck when a loud keening tears up my throat. “Shhh, Baby. Let it out. It’s poison, so you gotta let it out.” She backs us up to the wall and helps me slide down until we sit side by side in the spray.
Her bare legs run the length of mine, her arms tuck me against her, and her lips go to my forehead. “I know it seems really hard right now, but I promise, I’m not leaving your side. I’m sticking it out, so don’t push me away, okay?”
“I don’t want your help. I want to do this alone.”
I want to die.
Alone.
I still want to die.
“Please go, Jess. Go with Kane and live a happy life. You don’t need me dragging you down.”
“I’m not going anywhere. If I have to cuff our wrists together, I will. I don’t need anything as much as I need you to be okay.”
“You need Kane.” My chest collapses with every breath I take. “You said you were gonna hang out with me. You said we could have a sleepover.”
“When?” She pushes away to catch my eyes. Brushing the long hair off my face, she cups my cheek. “When are you talking about?”
“When Kane came back, the last day of your exams, you said we would have a sleepover. You said you’d give me vampire books and make me feel better.”
“Laine…” Her eyes turn pink.
“You left me! We made plans, then he came back and you didn’t care about me anymore. You didn’t come home for weeks.”