“Saturday. Well,” he takes a deep breath. “Sunday, now.”
“You guys didn’t play your set at 188?”
He tosses his phone onto the set of drawers beside my bed. “We have better things to do right now than play a set at the club. We called in sick, and Tink’s smart enough to figure out an iPod. She’s got it under control.” Fixing his coat, his dark eyes come back to mine. “Go to sleep, Laine. I’m staying all night.”
“Why don’t you date?” I pull my blankets up and distract myself with trivial shit rather than the slimy sensation that rolls through my stomach. “You never bring girls home for us to meet. I’ve never seen you with a girl at the club. You didn’t have to work tonight; you coulda gone out…”
Almost like he’s disappointed, he lets out a shaky sigh. “Because I’m invisible. Because I don’t want them, and because most girls are brainless and giggly. I’m not interested in brainless gigglers; they’re boring.”
“So you’d rather hang out with us instead?”
We giggle. We’re silly and immature.
“Yep.”
“Ang–”
“I know you’re scared and uncomfortable right now, but I didn’t sleep much last night, so I’m tired, okay?” His steely eyes flicker across my face. Long hair that he normally keeps tied back now tickles the underside of his grinding jaw. “Can we just sleep? I won’t ask you questions, and you don’t ask me. I’ll respect your space and privacy if you promise to respect mine.”
“Respecting my space and privacy is not going into my house without my permission.” My snapped words are barely more than a whisper, but the way his eyes narrow, you’d think I was screaming. “I didn’t invite you in, Angelo. I didn’t ask to be saved.”
“No? Well that’s too damn bad. I’ll never give you up, so you need to find a new plan. A plan that leaves you with a long, happy life. I refuse to let you take the other way out.”
“That’s not fair,” I cry. “It’s not you that has to live with the poison! It’s not you that has to live with the memories, Ang.” I choke on fresh tears. “You don’t get to make that decision for me.”
His angry eyes soften. “I promise to help you. I’ll try to make it better.” He reaches across the space between us. He doesn’t touch me, he doesn’t reach for my hand, he simply lays work stained fingers on the very edge of my bed and gives me something other than my own filth to focus on. “I promise to be with you every step of the way. You’re not alone in this, Laine, and together, I promise we can beat back your monsters. But for right now, we need to sleep.”
My jaw wobbles, my nose runs, and each time I swipe a hand to clean the mess, the rough bandage on my sore skin reminds me of what I did. “I’m scared, Ang. I’m scared to sleep.”
Wordlessly, he turns his hand over in invitation.
I want to be brave, I want to stop crying, I want to feel something other than disgust in myself. But all I manage is a brand-new bout of uncontrollable tears as I slam my hand against his, our fingers locking together.
He closes his strength around me and holds on in silence while I purge the poison from my blackened veins.
* * *
Seven or sohours after my middle of the night breakdown, a woman steps into my room with an air of elegance only women of advanced age can manage. She moves across my room in a suit of soft blue – sharp and beautiful, despite its gentle color – and an elegant bun that pulls mid-length hair away from her face.
She studies me in silence for a long beat, and each second that passes leaves me feeling more and more exposed.
I don’t like this.
I don’t like her.
“Hi, Laine. My name is Sonia.” She stops beside my bed and slowly lowers into the plastic chair. Resting a folder in her lap, she smiles and gentles the vice that squeezes my chest. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Angelo left only because this womanmadehim. Slowly backing out with eyes that promised retribution if she hurt me, he closed the door and stood by the window.
He still watches us.
I don’t dare look at the window, but I feel his stare.
I never knew this protective side of Angelo before. I mean, he always came running when I called. He always bailed me out of silly trouble, but this new hardness is surprising.
Angelo has always been a constant in my life. Always ready to listen, always there for a ride home if I needed it, or a pizza and beer if I was lonely.
He was always just there; like furniture…