4
Angelo
Set The World On Fire
For years, I’ve watched Laine’s relationship with another man grow and change. When she was single, she was oblivious to me. When she was with him, she was oblivious to everythingbuthim. And like the coward I am, I didn’t tell a single soul how I felt.
Why?
I don’t know.
Fear of rejection, maybe.
Maybe it was because I knew she was the forbidden fruit. My best friend’s little sister.
Or perhaps I was scared of being with her, for fear that somewhere in the deep recesses of my soul, I might wake up one day and turn into my father.
I won’t.
I abhor the thought of hurting women, but still, the fear gnaws at my gut.
Fuck knows the exact thing that stopped me from reaching out to Laine over the years, but almost twenty-four hours ago, I found her in the shower, and the vibrant woman I know – the crazy, wild woman I remember from before Graham came into her life – was almost dead.
I never made my move – not ten years ago, not a couple years ago before she met him, and not a few months ago when I found out she’d left him – and because of my cowardice, it was almost too late.
How do I come to terms with that, when, even if she’s here now, I still can’t say a damn thing?
She needs time to heal. She needs space and support. She needs a therapist and a fucking hug, not the next guy in line knocking on her door.
So my shot may never come, but that doesn’t mean my heart will step away.
Kane knows what I feel; somehow, within thirty seconds of knowing me, he figured it out when none of the other guys have. And considering he’s not the chatty type, I figure my secret is safe with him.
I’m not sure if Jess knows. I get the feeling Kane tells her what sheneedsto know, and she doesn’t need to know about this.
He doesn’t lie to her,exactly, and he doesn’t keep things from her,exactly. I figure it’s more of afilteringsystem.
It’s just who he is. He comes from a dangerous world, and his prior profession was about keeping others safe. He can’t hurt her any more than I can hurt Laine, so he’s the gatekeeper of all things Jess is exposed to.
I doubt he’s told her, simply because it’s not important. I’m notwithLaine, I just have a silent and unrequited relationship with her, which is basically… a non-issue.
It’s not worthy of passing on.
But if she does know, she doesn’t let on. She simply stands from the chair beside Laine’s hospital bed and allows me to sit.
It’s the chair closest to Laine.
The chair closest to her dangling hand – the hand with needles, but without the stitches. And considering the reason we’re in here, it’s not even odd when I take it in mine and stroke her slim fingers.
Laine was brought back to a room somewhere around eighteen hours ago. She’s yet to wake, but the doctors say she’s not in danger anymore. She’s just choosing not to come back.
I get the feeling she’s too scared to face her family.
Luc sits on the floor with his back against the wall and his knees bent, and right beside him, Kari leans in close and whispers things that the rest of us don’t understand.
Not sweet whispers of love and devotion, but medical stuff, like how her blood pressure is fine, how her platelets are coming up, and how her heart is healthy.
She’s talking to the worried brother in the only language that’ll help him right now.