30
Jess
Involuntary Leave
The station fills with bodies – men and women, officers that I know, others I’ve never met. Special Agent Douchecanoe walks around like he’s been riding a horse for a week. His glittering eyes come back to Laine and me over and over again, but as far as I know, Alex hasn’t told him of the traitor in the ranks.
Just that they lost their man.
Units are set up. Teams split. Firearms loaded.
Each time a gun is clipped into a holster, my heart hitches and leaves tears in my eyes. Each time they discuss takedown procedures, my lungs fold in and refuse me oxygen.
Each time the words‘we want him alive’passes someone’s lips, my jaw wobbles. But not nearly as bad as when someone counters with‘but only if you can manage it safely. Officer safety comes first. If he’s armed, you do what you’ve gotta do to make it home to your family.’
They’re going to kill him.
Either my brother will kill him, or Abel will kill him.
This is what Kane said all along; he’ll die before he goes to prison. He knew where this was going. He’s been saying goodbye all week, which is why he taught me to defend myself. Someone is going to shoot him tonight, and he went into the job knowing he probably wouldn’t come back out safely.
And he never told me he loves me.
Three hours after Kane’s grand escape, when the sun breaks over the horizon and my ass has officially turned numb, when Jules’ glare makes me want to roll into the fetal position, and my cell remains ominously silent – because I’m still a gullible fool, and I find myself hoping he’ll text – the police station empties but for a few clerical staff and one junior deputy.
It hurts. Every breath I take feels like razor blades in my lungs.
“I thought you wanted your career, Jess.” Jules stops in front of me and my sister. “I thought the sixteen-hour days proved how hungry you were for this.”
I nod at the floor and sigh. “I do, Jules. Nothing has changed.”
“Everythinghas changed.” The opposite to her husband, Jules chooses silence and reasoning over Alex’s shouting. Jules’ approach is way worse. The‘I’m disappointed’talk always hurts. “You’re risking your career over this.”
“He’s not a bad person, Jules.” I look up and meet her sad eyes. “There’s more to this. Theremustbe stuff I don’t know, because he’s not a bad person. Sometimes he does bad things, but we all do what we have to do.”
“Selling illegal firearms and drugs is not what wehaveto do.”
“I’ve never seen him sell anything. Not once. I’ve seen him hurt people, but they were bad people.”
“You don’t get to be the jury here, Jess. That’s not for you to decide.”
“I’m not deciding for the courts. I’m deciding for me. I trust him. I know him. And I know he’s a good man. He didn’t ditch to hurt me.”He’s doing it to protect me. I don’t know how or why, but whatever he’s doing, it’s to protect me.
“I need you to step back from this.” Jules’ whisper breaks my heart. “I’m not firing you, but youwilltake leave until this is straightened out. If I knew this was how it would go, I wouldn’t have handed that file over. You’re so overworked, so tired and stressed; you have your bar exam sneaking up, you’re studying and working, and I only compounded the issue.”
“I’m not delusional from exhaustion, Jules! Sure, I’m tired, but so are you. I’m overworked, but so is every single other person I know. That doesn’t mean I’m making decisions that aren’t me.”
“You have exams to study for. Do that. I need you to stay away from the office for a little while. Not only are you risking your career, but you’re risking everything I’ve worked for. If it was still Arthur’s firm, you’d be on your ass.”
“If I was anyone else, anyone except your husband’s little sister, would you fire me?”
Rubbing her belly, she chews on her bottom lip. “Yes.” Releasing her lip, she sighs. “Yes. If it was anyone else, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. I’d have thrown your office plaque into the street already, because what you’ve done is wrong. This is bigger than just you, Jess. This is everything I ever worked for, and you’ve put it all at risk. You’re forcing me and Alex into that gray area; he didn’t tell the special agent asshole about you dating their mark yet. That’s pretty damn black and white. I didn’t mention it either, and you bet your ass I won’t be making a public announcement. My firm has a reputation to maintain, and my best staff dating a criminal is kinda frowned upon.”
“It’s not how it seems, Jules. I swear it’s not. I don’t have all the puzzle pieces yet, but I can’t be wrong about this. Ifeelit in my stomach. If he was bad, I’d have run already. He’s not bad.”