“Dylan,” she whispers as I drop the strap of my duffel bag from my shoulder. “What can I do?”
I shake my head because there’s nothing that can be done that isn’t already being handled.
“Is there any more news?”
“What have you heard?”
Guilt swarms like angry bees inside of me. I don’t know what Legend told Faith and what Faith in turn told her. Did he mention my fault in all of it? Did he place all the blame on me?
Before Aro was shot, I had already mentioned to him the need for him to settle. He was so revved up about something that it was like he couldn’t even hear me.
It’s not uncommon for us to get uncontrollably mad about what we knew we were going to face. Sometimes there’s no way to stay calm outside a compound when we know what’s happening inside. This last mission somehow hit him a little harder. He was careless, and as his partner in the field, that’s my fault too.
I didn’t speak up despite knowing he needed someone other than me to talk to him.
Instead, I straightened my back, letting his anger and hostility seep right inside of me.
They were murdering women for sport in that place, and the images of the mass graves was a slideshow in my head as we made entry.
We’ve all seen the movies where the justified good guy rushes in in a blaze of glory, bullets whizzing past them as if even science was bending to their will with every single shot sailing past their target.
The first part of that became a realization, Aro losing his cool, unconcerned for his own safety, but it was the science part that held firm.
I squeeze my eyes closed despite it bringing the image of him falling to the floor in front of me back.
“Dylan,” Sylvie urges again, her warm hand over my rapidly beating heart.
“Baby,” I whisper, tears burning my eyes and nose.
I’ve managed to keep them from falling, but I’m no longer around the team. My stoic demeanor crumbles when I see tears marring her pretty face.
I pull her to my chest, the sting in my eyes finally releasing as my tears soak into her shirt. I try to reel it all back in when she begins to sob. I’m a man, and I need to be strong, but I just can’t hold it back any longer.
“I love you,” she whispers. “I’m glad you’re safe.”
I let her guide me to the bed, holding on to her like the lifeline she has become.
The night we met was spent having wild sex in this very room, and because of that, we’ve shared many nights here just holding each other, making plans for our future. We’ve managed a level of intimacy that doesn’t require us to have sex to experience it.
It’s also the place where she refuses to live full time, the place where she tells me she loves me but refuses to go so far as promising me forever. I know she’s scared, and hell, most days I am too, but this woman is it for me.
I fought so hard in my life against love. I didn’t want it, convincing myself it makes you weak.
These last couple of days the love I feel for her—from her—might possibly be the only thing that keeps me alive.
I want to change the world.
I want to be everyone’s savior.
I want to say I’m strong enough to sacrifice everything I have to do those things, but it would be a lie.
I realized after Aro fell that I’m not a fucking hero. I didn’t reload and aim, returning the volley of bullets flying my way. It would’ve been a suicide mission.
I realized I wouldn’t sacrifice my life to take out just one more bad guy.
I managed to pull Aro from the line of fire, but I also had to keep the promise I make to this woman before every mission.
“Come home to me.”