She was so eager to go and see her, and so was I if I was being truthful. She had her pink jeweled backpack stuffed full of crap she wanted to share with her mom. She was such a cute kid.
We reached the car and I found myself checking my rear view, side and the front mirrors several times for tails. None in sight.
Damnit, this was no way to live.
Lucy’s red brick apartment looked different from other Mississippi apartments; there were only two floors. I rang the doorbell.
She opened the door, looking like radiance itself. Opening her arms wide, Sarah ran in. She swayed back and forth while kissing Sarah’s head. “Hello baby!So good to see you. I’m so happy,” she gushed. To me she said, “Hi, come in, Chalk.”
A little less enthusiastic, but I understood. I followed in behind Sarah, who’d already run in. I scanned the place for security measures that I could install. No cameras, and you could walk straight to her front door. I gulped down my fears, attempting to keep my frantic eyes from moving around her place too much.
My attention snapped back to Lucy. I grabbed two of her fingers, linking them into mine briefly to let her know I’d been thinking of her. “Hi, you look beautiful,” I greeted.
Her hair was held up with a clasp. She wore a long drapey shawl with denim shorts, showing off her slender legs and bare feet. An effortless beauty.
“Thank you.” She smiled at me.
“Mom! I want a tour. Tour time. Tour time,” Sarah hollered.
I smirked and shrugged at her. Good. Would give me time to look the place over.
“Hey, she’s excited.” Lucy pointed me to the coffee machine. She’d done well for herself. Her apartment felt warm, decorated with purple and maroon tones. With plenty of house plants, it felt spacious and cozy all at the same time. For the next twenty minutes, she was held up with Sarah’s questions and nosiness.
I ran through a detailed security check. Alarm system needed. Check. Windows. All the screen covers were on with no holes. Check. Locks. Pretty solid. Check.
Noises on the outside of the door. Footsteps.
My heartrate climbed. I listened with my ear to the door and heard the laughter of two women in the hallway. I was becoming a paranoid mess. I waited around until Sarah settled down, and we talked, drinking our coffees.
“Think you might want to get an alarm system? Just for safety’s sake. You know, you’re a single woman living in this place.” I kept my tone casual.
Lucy seemed confused by my random comment. “Ah, I mean I guess. What makes you think I need it?”
I couldn’t stop rubbing my hair nervously. “Nothing so much. Just think it might be a good idea.”
Lucy still gave me a look of confusion. “Okay, I can look into it. I know everyone in the building. There’s not many of us, and there’s good lighting at night.”
I’d already made up my mind that I was going to get her an alarm. I wasn’t game enough to kiss her in front of Sarah. I knew that might cause some confusion too early on, so I kept my lips to myself, but the pull was there.
When I got home, I felt an emptiness and unfortunately… fear. It was just too silent and I found it hard to cope with. No pitter-patter of stomping, loud feet running down the hall, no child-like laughter. No water running. No yelling. As much as I wanted to have some time to myself, now I had it…I didn’t fucking want it. I longed for the wholeness of our family.