“Yeah, it is. Don’t know yet, but whatever she digs up may affect the club on a grander scale,” Chalk said with a long sigh.
“Is that something you’re worried about?” I asked him, wondering how on earth it could affect the club.
“Ah, not so much right now, but I’m not gonna lie. It could be a problem down the line,” Chalk mused quietly.
We were both dancing around one another, hoping the other would crack the door open a little more. The gap between us was closing, and we were inching forward, weaving in our past, our present and our futures like a strong braid.
Chalk broke the ice suddenly, “What went wrong between us? We were so good together before you got sick. I know when I say this you get upset, but I’m not trying to make it that way. I’m just trying to make sense of it all, now that you’re back.”
I felt relief as we might just get all this out in the open. “I think it was a self-esteem issue from my part and something I was struggling with. I know you got frustrated with me a lot of times. I know I left and we broke up, but just know I didn’t want to leave like that…” I paused for a sip of water as I felt my throat locking up. “That’s not a path I plan on walking down again. I care about Sarah…you. I want to be here,” I confessed with a little more conviction.
Chalk stroked my pinky finger with his as he sighed. “Yeah. You seem like a different person. Just, you know, obviously I have my doubts and I need to think of Sarah, the dipping in and out of her life. She’s the one who was affected the most.” Chalk’s jaw flickered with tension as he slipped his finger away.
“I get it, it’s going to take time. I know that,” I said softly. Damn, now I felt like we were back where we started. Just floating with no future for us as a couple.