“You missed this!” He handed me my phone.
My brow furrowed. I took the phone and woke up fully. I looked down. The phone wasn’t unlocked, but the top part of the message was there. Doc: Remember what I said. I need that info on Rebel Saints ASAP. My whole body went into shutdown. My heart began hammering inside my chest, and my mouth turned to cotton.
“I can explain. I was going to tell you. Please hear me out,” I said in a hurried tone. My heart thumping in my chest was distracting me. Shit. My chest tightened as I snatched up my jeans from the floor feeling humiliated.
He yelled at me, “You have to get up and get the hell out of here!You’re working for those dirty sons of bitches, the Devil Riders. I trusted you, Mia! How the hell could you do this?”
“It’s not like that! He blackmailed me. I had no choice,” my words spilled out. “Please hear what I have to say. Please.” I begged him.
Numbers’ eyes were dark and full of rage.
I knew he couldn’t hear me right now.
“Blackmailed you? You’ve had so many chances to tell me. I trusted you, Mia. I really, really trusted you. This explained why you mentioned Doc when we went on the Ferris wheel,” he spat out.
“That’s not how it is. Give me a chance, Numbers. I made a mistake,” I begged. I slid my top over my head quickly and scrambled around with tears flooding in my eyes. I could barely see.
“You got that right, you made a mistake. You thought you could fleece me for my money and get away with it! You’re a real piece of work, Mia. How much did he pay you for that? Did you know about the drug overdose? Is this some kind of sick game to you?” Angry veins were popping up on his neck and he was still covering the doorway.
His nostrils were flaring and the way his eyes looked made me scared for the first time. I located my shoes and put them on hastily. I wanted to run and hide in a hole in the earth. The shame I felt about the situation was too much for me to bear.
“Numbers! You have to listen to me,” I demanded as I stormed after him. If he could just listen long enough to hear my side of the story maybe I could salvage us.
He turned his back and walked out to the kitchen.
I looked around the room blindly through the tears trying to see if there was anything else I’d left behind.
Doc, from afar, just managed to tear down any semblance of a relationship I was trying to have with Numbers. I moved through to the kitchen where he stood with his back facing me. I touched his shoulder.
He shrugged me off. “Get off me and go, Mia. Good luck with your mother. I wish you the best of luck in life.”
“I never meant to hurt you. I did it for my mother and because he was blackmailing me. If you would let me talk to you about it…” My voice trailed off as I tripped over my words. Even if he wouldn’t give me the time of day, at least I got it off my chest. Maybe he would process it later.
“Get out, Mia. You’re a liar and you’re like that other mole Samantha, they sent over here. Get moving.” He pointed to the door.
I swiped away the stream of tears running down my face and left. I jumped in my car as I sobbed. I backed out fast, nearly hitting his mailbox and sped off with my tires screeching back to my house.
I arrived home ten minutes later and rushed inside the house while bawling my eyes out. It took me another ten to get myself together. I hadn’t even looked at the message properly and I didn’t want to. I made up my mind that no matter what happened I was going to quit. If Doc sent an army after me, I would have to deal with that. I would take every legal channel I had. I set myself a resolution as I poured myself a glass of water.
I sat down as I stared around the house in the dark. I would talk to the bank about a line of credit on my mortgage, maybe even take out a second mortgage, so I could put my mother in this place. This would be the best thing for me to do. I felt disheartened that Numbers felt as if I was a mole after all I did with the Rebel Saints. Why wouldn’t he give me the benefit of the doubt?
At first, I was distraught about the circumstances, and then I started to think about it some more.
Why didn’t he want to hear me?
Safe to say my sleep wasn’t as peaceful as the night before. I did wake up feeling down the next morning. I tried to wash the pain away of Numbers’ rejection, but it wouldn’t leave. I knew that D-day for Doc was today and so was my decision for my mother. Two major, life-changing decisions that would change the course of my life potentially.
I looked at myself in the mirror and chose to put on my big girl panties. I poured myself a strong coffee and sat down at my study desk as the cicadas made their morning Mississippi calls.
I opened my desk drawer and pulled out the large canary yellow envelope then stared at the dirty money inside of it. My stomach kept churning over and over. I put the money back in the drawer and shut it. I couldn’t use it. Not now.
I picked up my cell phone and called my Mama. “Hi Mama, how are you?”
“Oh, I’m wonderful, my sweet child. I’m just waiting for a bath. Susan will be here soon.” Susan was the carer for my mother and had been for the last two years. She was a godsend, and I don’t know what I would do without her.
“Good.” I smiled through the phone. “I have some news for you,” I tried to keep my voice upbeat even though I felt like shit. “I’m going down to Meadowbank today to get the ball rolling for your application. How does that sound? Are you a hundred percent happy with this decision?”
“Yes dear, I am. The place feels just right. It has a lovely atmosphere and I might even be able to get in the water, who knows. What do you think, dear? Can you afford to do it?”