I hated feeling so helpless, and at times like this more than any other, I wished that I had a better support system. Without a car, I was screwed.
The sound of a motorcycle engine reached me, coming from outside the house. It seemed to be stopped right outside. I looked up, glancing at the clock on my stove. It was time for Smoke to drop Gavin off, but surely he wouldn’t…
Getting to my feet, I rushed to the door, hurrying outside just in time to see Smoke parking his motorcycle on the sidewalk with Gavin clinging to him on the back. A tremendous anger swelled inside of me, and I hurried forward as Gavin was getting off the bike, pulling him into my arms, and taking the helmet off his head. “What the hell are you thinking?” I snapped at Smoke, wiping the smile off his face.
“Mom, it’s okay, it was fun—”
“Go inside,” I cut Gavin off, pointing toward the door to our basement apartment. “I need to talk to your father.”
“Fine,” he grumbled before turning and literally stomping into the house.
I waited until he was gone to turn back to Smoke, who was still sitting on the motorcycle, even after turning it off. “How could you do that? He’s eleven years old, that’s way too young to be on the back of a bike.”
“He’s perfectly fine. I just wanted him to have some fun. Riding is important to me.”
“Riding is important to you? That’s how you justify putting our son in danger?”
Smoke’s expression turned stormy. “I would never do that.”
“That’s what it looked like to me,” I replied. I couldn’t help imagining Gavin not holding onto Smoke tight enough and falling off the back of the motorcycle. He was a little boy, so that could have easily happened, and he would have been seriously hurt. What if they were on the highway when it happened? The thought made me feel slightly sick.
“You’re wrong,” Smoke insisted.
I couldn’t even consider what he said, not with the terrifying image in my mind. “I can’t believe you didn’t run this by me. How can I trust you?”
“He’s my son too,” Smoke told me sternly. “You’d do well to remember that.”
I saw a glimmer of the anger that he’d shown me at the beginning, right after I introduced him to Gavin. I didn’t get a chance to reply, since Smoke fired his bike up once again, and the deafening roar of his engine drowned out anything I could have said. Smoke raised his kickstand and took off without even taking the helmet that Gavin was wearing from my hand.
I was left standing there with it, already feeling like I handled that terribly. Now Smoke and I were fighting and I hated it, even though I was convinced I was right.
This was the worst day…
My shoulders slumped as I turned back to the house, about to walk inside, but Samantha’s car pulling up in front of the house drew my attention to her. Or maybe I just didn’t want to go in there and have an argument with Gavin after what just happened with Smoke. After the devastating blow of my car issues, I wasn’t sure I was in the right emotional state to deal with more conflict. To him, it was just a fun ride and I was the bad guy.
“Are you okay?” Samantha asked as she caught sight of me lingering on the side of the house. She must have seen something in my face that told her just how upset I was.
“No,” I admitted. “I’m really not.”
“How about you tell me about it over coffee?”
I nodded and led her into my apartment.
As we walked inside, Gavin stood up from the couch, crossing to his room and slamming the door behind him.
I suddenly felt very tired.
“What’s his problem?”
“He’s mad at me,” I said, but I didn’t want to get into it. I hated that I’d made Smoke and Gavin so angry at me in one fell swoop, even if I was justified in being concerned. Maybe I would have handled it better if it hadn’t happened while I was in the middle of an unrelated crisis.
I made coffee and filled Samantha in on what was going on with my car as we each had a small cup. I would need it, since I had to work tonight.
“You know what you should do to make some quick money?” Samantha said after I told her the staggering total I needed to come up with to get the car fixed. “You should go to the doctor and try to get an Adderall prescription.”
“What? Isn’t that for people with ADHD?”
“Yeah, but lots of college students take it to help them concentrate. If you pretend to need it and get a prescription, you can sell it on campus. You’ll easily make enough to fix the car.”