I nodded, “Yeah, but it was also the only home he’d ever known. I had friends there, but I know he’ll be excited to meet any family you have. He always wanted more family. No matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t enough for him.”
“Don’t say that,” Smoke said, a sudden sternness to his voice. “It’s natural to want a community, a family. It’s not a reflection on you.”
I grinned. “Yeah, I guess that was kind of a self-centered thing to say, huh?”
Smoke leaned back, his arms stretching out on the back of the bench. “I think you’re probably entitled to being a little selfish sometimes. Doesn’t seem like you get the opportunity often.”
“Tell me,” I said, curiosity getting the better of me, “were you looking for a community when you joined the motorcycle club?”
“I guess you could say that. Like I told Gavin, the only family I have since my mom died is my dad, and honestly, we don’t really have the best relationship. When I first joined the club, I just did it because I liked to ride and that was what I thought an MC was all about.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Not exactly. Yeah, we all ride, and we all love it. It’s not just a weekend hobby for any of us. It’s a lifestyle. But the more important thing with the club is the brotherhood aspect of it.”
“So, that’s why you call them your club brothers?”
“That’s how I think of them. As the family I chose.” His eyes stayed on Gavin as he talked. “When I was growing up, I moved around a lot, the way that army brats do. It was hard to make friends at school when I never knew if I would be around the next year. I don’t know, it always felt like a waste of time. But it was lonely. So, when I got older and was out on my own, I felt like I was always looking to make up for the friendships I’d missed out on, those connections that everyone else seemed to form when they were younger. I found that with Rebel Saints, when I didn’t even expect it.”
I felt like I was beginning to understand why he was so affected by the attack on Ink. He was a part of the club, and those guys meant more to him than a normal friendship. “You know, I think I can relate to that, in a way. I told you that I grew up in foster care, right?” I continued without waiting for a response, “I was a lonely kid. My mom was an alcoholic, and I was taken away from her when I was only eight years old. I never even knew who my dad was, and there was no other family, so I was just dumped into the system and forgotten. It’s not easy, but when you grow up, you get the opportunity to make your life what you want it to be, whether you do it by joining a motorcycle club or becoming a parent.”
I watched Gavin for a moment as he played with a pinball machine. He was really a blessing, my reason for everything. “Do you have any idea who attacked Ink?” I asked after a moment of silence.
“It’s gotta be our rival club.”
“Are they dangerous?” I asked, thinking about the bikers that I saw at Sweet Spot.
“Possibly,” Smoke said, “but don’t worry about anything. I’ll make sure my shit doesn’t touch you guys.”
He sounded sincere, and I relaxed back onto the bench. It felt good to know that someone cared enough to make such a promise. I hadn’t had much of that in my life.