Chapter Twenty-One: A Fool In Love
Harper
Things could change so quickly. It sent me reeling, making me feel unsteady on my feet. And in this case, it broke my freakin’ heart.
Bright, hopeful optimism felt foolish now that Bones had stormed out of my life. I was lucky to have had yesterday off already, so when I stayed home and cried most of the day, it didn’t interfere with anything. Today, I called in, using a personal day. I only got three a year, but I needed one right now.
I felt like an idiot. How could I have hoped he might have changed his mind about serious relationships? He’d never said anything to make me think that. In fact, I couldn’t be mad at him at all because he’d been nothing but honest with me. I was the one who’d developed feelings. The one that put him on the spot by professing my love. I’d wanted something from him that he’d directly told me he wasn’t willing to give.
Love sucked when it was unrequited. I had never given such a thing much thought before, but now I could see it was a horrible way to live, feeling so strongly about someone, sure they were meant for you, but having no chance with them, no future.
I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Today, I was giving myself twenty-four hours to wallow in self-pity. I would eat junk food, watch TV, and try to keep myself from calling him.
Really, the only reason I hadn’t dialed his number yet was because I didn’t want to look like some kind of pathetic ex. I’d already been embarrassed enough by his first rejection. A second one wasn’t going to make me feel any better. It would be the only response I would get from him, I was sure of that now.
I just hung around my apartment in my pyjamas, watching the second Twilight movie because I felt like I could totally relate to the heartbroken main character, and working my way through a bag of mini snickers candy I had gotten at the dollar store a month ago. I kept the bag in my pantry and allowed myself occasionally to have a piece, as a rare treat.
I didn’t want to gain a bunch of weight, after all.
But right now I didn’t care.
The movie wasn’t captivating me, so my mind started to wonder and, of course, it landed on Bones. Specifically, I started to think about the night we slept together. I couldn’t believe I’d only gotten to be with him once. I didn’t even get to bask in the afterglow for very long, because everything went to shit the next morning.
Frustration had me getting off the couch, thinking about how much I needed a change in my life. Something to make me feel like I was getting a fresh start instead of mourning a relationship that barely existed in the first place. I was in the bathroom a minute later, looking at my reflection.
Bangs. That was what I needed. And maybe a few inches off too. That would make me feel better.
I rummaged around in the drawers of my vanity and finally found the scissors in the bottom one. They were nice and sharp. Brushing out the front of my hair, I lifted the scissors, prepared to give myself bangs for the first time in my life, but I was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell.
Apparently, my stupid heart hadn’t learned its lesson yet, because it leapt as if Bones might be the one ringing it. I frowned as I made my way through the apartment. I didn’t have any real friends here yet. Not many people knew where I lived.
Peeking through the peephole, I let out a surprised gasp at the sight of my cousin and pulled the door open.
Abby stood there in the hallway, holding a plastic bag in one hand and an overnight duffle bag on her shoulder.
I stared at her, hardly believing she was really here.
“Are you planning to stab me with those?” she asked, pointing to the scissors I hadn’t even realized were still clutched in my grip. “Because if you kill me, I’m haunting your ass forever.”
I couldn’t help smiling, and it was the first time I’d done that in two days.
“No,” I told her, stepping aside so that she could enter. “I was about to cut my bangs.”
“Oh my God, hand them over,” Abby said, holding out her hand and looking completely serious all of a sudden.
“What?” I asked, placing the scissors on her outstretched palm.
“Everyone knows that you don’t make big, life-altering decisions when you’re going through a heartbreak. You’re not thinking clearly enough.”
“Everyone knows?” I repeated incredulously.
“Well, everyone but you, apparently. Thank god, I got here in time.”
“Speaking of, what the hell are you doing here?”
“Well, I had a few days off work anyway, so I thought I’d surprise you with a visit, help get your mind off things.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” I said, but I was touched at how she’d gone to so much effort for me.