Shaking my head at myself, I let out a sigh. I had to stop thinking about that man.
Roscoe did his business, and I let him in, coming back out to water the plants I had in pots on the patio. As I stepped back inside, my phone started to ring.
Hurrying across the living room, I grabbed it out of my purse in time to accept a video call from my cousin. “Hey, Abby,” I greeted, propping the phone up against a glass on the kitchen island while I got my food out of the paper bag. Abby and I looked so much alike that people always thought we were sisters, with our long, brown hair and delicate features. The biggest difference between us was that my eyes were brown while hers were a dark blue that reminded me of the ocean I now lived so close to.
Those blue eyes narrowed as she took me in. “Uh-oh,” she said, “fast food for dinner? I take it the date didn’t go well?”
“You could say that,” I agreed, taking a big bite of my burger. “He was obnoxious.”
“Look who’s talking.” Abby crinkled her nose. “Did he talk with his mouth full too?”
I swallowed my food and stuck my tongue out at her.
“Very mature,” she commented. “But, seriously, are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged. “It just wasn’t a good fit.”
“It never is.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m just worried about you. I’ve never met someone so unlucky in love.”
She had a point there. “I just have standards,” I defended myself. “I don’t want to settle to avoid being alone.”
“Come on, Harper, I know you. It’s about more than having standards. You’re trying so hard to avoid becoming your mom that you draw an invisible line connecting Rick and every guy you have a real interest in.”
“You know, you’ve been insufferable since you took that psych class in college,” I deflected.
Abby chuckled. “And you’ve always been a brat.”
I smiled. Abby and I had grown up together since our moms were sisters. She and her mom had moved to Chicago when we were teenagers, but the two of us had stayed close over the years. We weren’t afraid to call each other out on our crap, which was what she was doing to me right now.
“I don’t know what to do about my crappy love life,” I admitted. “Maybe I should just give up and stay focused on my career.”
“You’ve already put all your focus on that for years. I know that money is a hot button issue for you, but you’re going to regret putting your job first when you’re an old lady with no family of your own.”
“Maybe I won’t notice if I’m rich.” I smiled, but I knew she was right about that too. It was tough to hear my issues analyzed by someone who knew me so well. Abby had been my confidante since I was a teenager. She knew one of my worst fears was being in a situation like my mom’s, where I wasn’t sure if there was enough money for food or if the electricity would be shut off for non-payment. It had been what drove me to work so hard. I was determined to build up my savings account and so far, I’d been successful.
The conversation turned to lighter topics as we filled each other in on what was going on in our lives, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d said earlier. Did I sabotage things with guys that had real potential by convincing myself that they were like my stepdad? Why would I do that?
But I knew the reason deep in my lonely heart.
Rick wasn’t the only problem in their relationship. My mother’s blind love for the man was the reason she overlooked so many flaws in his character. I wasn’t afraid of falling for someone like Rick, I was afraid of being like her. So, I looked for the problems that could arise with a man from the moment I met him, finding a reason to dismiss him as the bad boy I didn’t want to be with.
I thought about Bones but dismissed the thought quickly. That was different. It wasn’t in my head. Everyone knew bikers were bad news.
I didn’t know what the solution was to the problems in my love life, but I knew I was done with blind dates. Besides, I had Roscoe and Abby in my life. I was surrounded by love.