“This doesn’t change anything though. We’re only back to square one, aren’t we?”
“We are, but we’re going to finish this all today. I have an idea how we can convince Magnus to back down and drop this silly feud, but you have to trust me. Can you trust me?”
“I trust you. Whatever you want to do, I’m willing.”
He leans closer and snakes a hand into my hair. “I want all of you, Marie. I want every inch of you and I want to explore how far we can take this. Will you go there with me? Will you let me taste you and push your boundaries?”
“Please,” I whisper, lips open.
He kisses me softly, nibbling, before sliding his tongue into my mouth. I return his kiss with a deep, aching need, unlike anything I’ve felt before. This is Ansell, the real Ansell, the man that’s been hidden away all this time back from wherever he kept himself locked away. The poor little boy Ansell was ruined and abused and hurt, but now he’s waking up, now he’s escaping that room and finding something better.
I kiss him deeply, passionately, until he finally lets me go, but he doesn’t pull away.
“I love you, Marie. I want to be with you. I want to give you my ring, make you my wife, and put my children in your belly. I want a future with you.”
“I love you too.” I blink back tears but I can’t stop as they begin to roll down my cheeks.
He smiles at me, that amazing smile, and kisses them away, drinking them in and purring like he can’t get enough of the emotion.
I laugh and we kiss again, and finally he puts the car in drive. With one last look back at the house, he pulls away, leaving it behind.
“Where are we going now?” I ask as we navigate toward the city.
“I’m thinking we’ll head to your father’s house and see what he has to say for himself.”
My mouth drops open. “Ansell. Are you kidding me? Magnus and William were there. They still might be waiting.”
“Let’s hope so.” His smile gets bigger, and I start to wonder if maybe it was better before he felt anything at all, because this new Ansell is terrifying.
I take his hand and hold it as we drive.
Chapter 28
Ansell
After days of meticulous planning, I move my pieces into position.
We park outside of Marie’s father’s house. I leave the engine idling and don’t move to get out. She looks awkward, frowning at the house, squinting at me, not sure what’s going on. I smile back at her and marvel at the breadth and detail of what I’m feeling: sadness, joy, nervousness, excitement.
I’ve never experienced any of this before. Maybe when I was a child, back before that room broke something in me, but not in a very long time. I wonder what my mother would think of me. She used to call me a robot, used to scream at me, hit me, lash out when I wouldn’t show the emotions she expected, and that only made me burrow deeper and deeper.
Mother’s gone now, but a part of me thinks she’d be happy to see her son feeling for the first time in years and years.
I have complicated feelings for my mother. I didn’t fully understand them until now, and I’m not sure how I’m going to process them. In time, I’ll figure it out.
I have so much to figure out.
But first, I have more pressing concerns.
“What are we waiting for?” Marie cranes her neck to look at the front door. “I think my dad’s home, but the Crawfords must have left already.”
“They’ll be back.” I check my watch and nod to myself. “Baptist is on his way.”
“Why’s he coming?”
“I have a surprise for everyone and I think it’ll solve all our problems, but I need to warn you first. You’re about to find some things out about your family that you didn’t know until today.”
Her eyes widen and she leans back away from me. “What are you talking about?”
“Your father hasn’t been fully truthful with you about certain aspects of your life.” I hesitate, not sure how deep I need to go into this with her, and decide she needs at least some of this information before we go in there. Better to break it now than to blindside her in front of her father.
“Are you about to tell me that I’m adopted?” Her face lights up. “That’d be amazing news.”
“No, unfortunately, you’re not adopted. Your father is your father. So is your mother.”
“Then what are you hiding?”
I take a deep breath and try to envision the way she might react to this piece of news. It’s hard—feelings are all so new to me—but I can picture anger, sadness, confusion. I shift closer to her and take her hand between mine and slowly move my thumb in a circle along her knuckles.