I stare at the screen and slowly raise it to my ear.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Marie. How are you?”
I clear my throat. “I’m fine, Dad. Why are you calling me?”
“I wanted to check up on my daughter. Is that so crazy?”
I laugh once, bitter and awful. “Yes, it’s crazy, considering you decided to throw in with the people that want to destroy me.”
“It’s just business, honey. Don’t get upset.”
“What do you want?”
He’s quiet for a moment. Then: “I heard you spoke with William.”
I sigh and lean back against the wall of Ansell’s building. The alley is empty and dark and I’m tempted to lie down on the ground, close my eyes, and sleep right here.
“That was a stupid mistake.”
“Yes, maybe, but Magnus seems impressed by the attempt.”
“Attempt at what?”
“To patch things over. I’m told you tried to negotiate with William but he wasn’t exactly looking to compromise.”
“How do you know all this?”
“We have our sources.” Another short hesitation. “Heiko was listening in.”
I groan and laugh again. God, these fucking people. “That sounds about right. Is he listening in right now?”
“Of course not.”
“Hello, Heiko, if you’re here.”
“Stop it, Marie. I’m only saying that Magnus believes you can be reasonable and I agree with him. Why don’t you come sit down with me and Magnus and maybe we can hash things out? Find a solution that works for everyone?”
I stare up at the sky. It’s dark and the stars aren’t visible thanks to the city’s light pollution. The moon’s up there, somewhere, blocked by buildings. Each light in every window is a life and a person, an entire world happening in a tiny microcosm. It’s hard to imagine all these people, going through their days, thinking they’re doing the right thing. When really, we’re all groping around blindly, hoping for the best.
Or like me, tumbling through the darkness.
“What kind of solution?”
“It might involve an apology. It might involve a public appearance. Heck, maybe we could get the engagement back on track—”
“No, absolutely not.”
“Okay, okay, that’s fine. I’m just saying, there are options. Why don’t you come home, honey? We can figure this out.”
Home. I could go home. Back to my father’s house and the comfort of my own bedroom, my own blankets and sheets. Growing up with my father wasn’t easy, but it was still my childhood, and there are good memories sprinkled in among all the bad.
I should get up and get that Uber. I should go to my apartment, lock the door, and figure out what I’m going to do once my head’s clear. But all I can think about is the pain in Ansell’s expression as I took the elevator down, and that confirms everything for me.
He knew and now he’s upset that I ruined his game.
“Okay, Dad,” I say softly, resigned, beaten down, finally broken. “You win. I’ll come home.”
“That’s great news, honey, really great news. I’ll tell Magnus.”
“Can you send a car? I’ll give you my location.”
“Of course, I’ll have someone leave right away.”
“And no meetings tonight. Give me a day to get myself straight, okay?”
“Whatever you want, honey. You’re making a good choice right now. I’m proud of you.” Dad hangs up the phone and I sit there staring at the concrete.
What the hell am I doing? Going home to my father is the last thing I should do, and yet home feels safe right now. Home feels like my only real choice.
Home, with my father. He can tell me what to do. He can get me out of this nightmare if anyone can.
I send him my location and feel myself die inside.
Chapter 24
Ansell
I find Baptist in his favorite bar. It’s a dive two doors down from his row home, a corner spot with peeling laminate chairs, ancient wood-paneled walls, and too many TVs all playing sports. He’s sipping a beer and watching a baseball game while an old lady, wrinkled and skinny like a peeling lizard, puffs on a long cigarette despite the indoor smoking ban.
I slip into the chair beside him. He glances at me, frowns slightly, and nods. “Ansell.”
I rarely come here. This is like his sacred home away from everything and I try to respect his boundaries, but right now I’m too angry to wait.
“Baptist. I still don’t know what you see in this place.”
“It’s convenient.”
“There are half a dozen better spots within a two-minute walk. Why here?”
He chuckles and sips his beer. I ask the bartender for whiskey neat, top shelf. It’ll still be trash but that’s all right. The glass arrives and I take a sip.
My stomach warms with the alcohol. Drinking is a bad idea right now. I’m unstable, liable to violence, and I want to lash out at someone. Drinking might only make me break down that much faster and harder.
“It reminds me of a spot my dad used to go to back when we lived in Glenside. It was a real beat-up local dive located right next to the Belwick, you know, that theater my family used to own. Everyone would go there after the shows and my dad would bring me, even when I was little. My mom always complained, but those nights stuck with me all these years. I like remembering them.” He smiles a bit and sips his drink.