“I want so few things in this world, Pearce,” he whispers and his grip on my throat tightens. For the first time since we met and started all this, real fear spikes into my chest, making my heart race double-fast. “Everything drifts through me and barely leaves a mark. But you’re like a wound in my life. You’ve ripped me open and I’m beginning to feel things I never thought possible.” He grips even harder and my eyes widen, but his hips begin to move, fucking me, pulling my hair, fingers around my throat. “I find myself caring about you beyond what you can do for me. I care about your well-being for your own sake. I want to make you feel things just like I do, Pearce, because when you feel them, I feel them too. I want to fuck you, control you, spank you, hurt you. I want to make you scream and I want you to hurt me in return. I want to experience all your pleasure and all your pain. But I will not let anyone else touch you.”
He pushes me forward then, releasing my throat. I gasp as he fucks me fast and hard, reaching the crescendo we’ve been building to. I bury my mouth against the decorative pillow and scream as I come in a blinding burst of core-burning lightning. I come so hard I nearly black out and he keeps going, fucking me, taking me further and further until I feel him finish between my legs in a warm, thick spurt.
I fall forward, breathing hard, sweating and dizzy. He collapses to his knees beside me on the floor and leans his forehead against my shoulder. We stay like that for a few minutes, breathing together, lost in our own worlds of pleasure but also inextricably linked, and I keep thinking about his words. They flow through me and into me, and I feel myself changing. I feel myself drifting closer to him, tangling deeper. I want the world he’s offering, where he feels so deeply, where our feelings are tightly bound together.
It’s an intoxicating vision of the future and one that scares me as much as it entices me.
“Did you mean that?” I whisper and tilt my chin toward him. “About me making you feel things?”
“I’m sure you’ve noticed.”
“I have, but—” I hesitate. I wasn’t convinced that all those micro-expressions were real. I worried they were only a manifestation of my own desire and I was imagining them because I want him to be more than the Ice King so badly. I want Ansell to feel something, but I also have to be prepared to accept it if he doesn’t. That’s who he is, despite what I want or think. “I wasn’t sure if I should be so arrogant.”
“It isn’t arrogance. Truth is truth.” I smile and he kisses me. “You make me feel, Pearce. You make me feel more than I ever dreamed. It’s like heaven, but it’s also extremely difficult. I’m still getting used to all this… wanting. I don’t know what to do with these emotions. I take them out on you and it’s like purging myself of demons, but they keep coming back.”
“Welcome to the real world. That’s how we all feel all the time.”
“It’s unpleasant.”
“Yes, but it’s also amazing. Feeling things—that’s the best, right? That’s why we do what we do. That’s what makes life worthwhile. That’s why we fall in love and have sex and make families and eat and drink and laugh. Feeling is everything, and without it, what’s the point? If we felt nothing, it’s like we drift along on the wind.”
“That’s how it was for me for a very long time,” he says and nuzzles against my neck. “I wonder if it wouldn’t be better to go back.”
“Will you?” A spike of uncertainty rolls through me. Would Ansell throw me aside? Could he get tired of me and move on? Maybe the numbness is more comfortable for him. If that happened, I’d be at the mercy of the Crawfords and my father. Am I only here because of his protection?
“No, Pearce, I won’t.” I nod, chewing my lip, afraid of what that means. “Now, pull yourself together. We’re going to go ambush an important record executive and I need you on your best behavior.”
My mouth drops open. “We’re doing what?”
He laughs and kisses me.
Chapter 21
Marie
The Philadelphia offices of Universal are at the top of a tower several blocks away from Drake Entertainment, and I wonder if that’s a coincidence. Probably not—If I know Ansell at all, he likely signed his lease purely to be close to these guys.
“Did you talk to the talent scout?” I ask as we ride the elevator up. Ansell nods once.
“Didn’t go well.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not sure and that’s what we’re here to find out. I don’t like not knowing something. It bothers me.”