Morris shakes his head, looking amazed, but Blair turns it off before he can speak. I remove the headphones, my hands shaking.
“That’s all,” she says, shoving the phone into her pocket. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I know that was hard to hear. I mean, seriously, your own father saying all that about you on a podcast of all places? Like, what the hell?”
“I don’t know what to say.” I’m speechless and livid and confused. Emotional and stupid? I’ve done nothing but try to please that man and yet it’s never enough. He wasn’t lying when he said he’d try to destroy me, and now he’s out there doing just that.
His own damn daughter.
“Do you need a hug? Or water or something?”
“No, no, just—I think I’m okay. Just give me a second.” I stand up, shake my hands out. My head’s spinning. “This is mortifying. My own Dad’s out there calling me stupid and emotional. I didn’t know he was such a sexist piece of shit.”
“Sorry, girl, I’m so sorry. If it helps, my dad’s also sort of sexist.”
“I need some air.” I walk past her into the hallway and head toward the elevators. I don’t know where I’m going, but I can’t sit at my desk right now. Blair walks with me and even though I want to be alone, she slips her hand through my arm.
“You’re not all by yourself, you know,” she says as we wait for the elevator. “I know you probably want me to fuck off but, Marie, you’ve been keeping to yourself a lot lately. Something’s going on.”
We step onto the elevator and I close my eyes. How can I tell her what’s happening? She’s one of my few friends left in the world, and nobody knows about me and Ansell, nobody except for Baptist.
But if Baptist knows, then why can’t I tell one single friend?
I glance at her, my cheeks turning pink. She frowns at me, eyes screwed up, leaning closer. “You’re blushing. Why are you blushing?”
“You’re right that something else is going on.”
She looks surprised. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Look, I don’t know how this happened, okay? It just sort of started and hasn’t stopped and now—” I shake my head, not sure how to explain.
“Okay, seriously, what’s going on? Should I be afraid? Are you about to tell me you murdered someone?”
“No, god, no, not like that.” I turn to face her and take a deep breath. “I’m living and sleeping with Ansell Drake.”
Her mouth drops open and the elevator reaches the bottom floor.
“You’re Doing Fucking What?!” She basically screams the words in my face and I have to shush her as a bunch of people stand waiting to get into the car, looking totally confused. I pull her by the hand into the lobby and we hurry past security and out the main doors. It’s a comfortable late morning and we linger down at the bottom of the steps next to the sidewalk.
“Please don’t freak out.”
“How am I supposed to not freak out? You’re sleeping with Ansell Drake. You’re living with him! How the hell are you living with him?”
“It’s a long story.” I rub my face and wonder if this was maybe not a great idea. “Basically, the Crawfords want to capture me and, I don’t know, torture me or something.”
“Hold up, what?”
“And Ansell’s been keeping me safe. Whenever their like, hitman murder fixer guy comes and tries to drag me off—”
“Their freaking hitman murder guy, what the hell—”
“—Ansell’s been keeping me safe. I can’t go to my father, you saw that video, and I can’t stay in my apartment, so I’ve been living in Ansell’s place.”
Blair steps back, shaking her head in shocked amusement, tugging at her hair anxiously. “I’m having a lot of trouble processing this.”
“I know. Honestly, when I say it all out loud, it sounds insane.”
“You know things called hotels exist?”
“True, but those hotels don’t come with men like Ansell.”
“Right, because you’re fucking him.” She laughs wildly and paces back and forth. “He’s gorgeous, I’ll give you that, but the Ice King? Does he, like, smile in bed? Does he make noises?”
“Yes, he makes—no, I’m not doing this with you.”
She glares at me. “You can’t tell me you’re fucking Ansell Drake and not give me details.”
I chew on my thumb and try not to turn bright red but that’s a losing battle. “Okay, fine, I’ll tell you this. He’s not always so cold. Okay?”
“Wow. Holy shit. Does he turn into a passionate lover? Are you melting the Ice King’s heart? He’s letting you live with him so this has to be more than sex.”
I lean against the concrete railing that leads up to the main glass doors and look at my feet. “I don’t know what it means, if I’m honest with you.”
“I did not expect this conversation to head in this direction, but I have to ask. Do you have feelings for him?”