“Even if he does, you need to be ready to accept the fact that he won’t be the same person he was before.” I could see it in her eyes that she’d heard what he’s been up to just as everyone else had.
“I know.”
“Until then, I’ll go and get you some B-6 to help with the morning sickness. Clearly, you’ve got it bad.” Gemma tried to smile, but it slipped from her face in seconds. “You’ll be okay, Sienna. I promise.”
I hoped she was right. I didn’t know how I would get through this. Just the thought of this future paralyzed me. I knew how to kill a man with my bare hands, how to hunt down a traitor, but raising a child? In this life?
When Gemma left, I continued pacing the living room. How hard could it be? My father did it. My mother did it. And I turned out alright. Ish. Sighing, I slumped onto the couch, already feeling flutters in my stomach, though I knew it was probably just nerves. Still, I was overly aware of the life inside me.
He needed to know. I wasn’t sure if it would be enough to bring him back, but I knew he would want to know. Or maybe he didn’t. Maybe this would just be another thing that would push him further away from this life. Another reason for him to run.
I stayed in the apartment the whole day, begging off sick when Mateo tried to call me. I knew I was avoiding my responsibilities, but at that moment, I couldn’t give a shit. But I also couldn’t stay in this house a minute longer. I needed to get out. I needed to do something.
Grabbing my black leather jacket, I headed out the door. I didn’t know where I was heading exactly, and I knew I wasn’t going to be successful tonight, but I needed to at least feel like I was looking for him. These past few days, I’d been in survival mode, barely able to do anything but wake up, try to focus, and go to sleep. I hadn’t tried very hard to look for him, feeling too anxious to even try. The most I’d done is go to The Salamander that one night.
But tonight, I needed more.
I didn’t bother ordering a driver. I didn’t want anyone with me right now. I just needed to drive. To get out. New York air wasn’t exactly the cleanest, but it was better than the stifling feel of the apartment. The tires squealed as I tore out of the underground parking lot of the apartment. At this time of night, I’d already missed the daily rush hour, though some streets were still overcrowded. I avoided those, taking the side streets I knew so well; the back alleys, the twists and turns that made New York city the maze it was.
Without even thinking, I hit all the local spots I thought he’d be at. I even went to Gio’s club where we’d first met, but there was no sign of him. I slowly drove past Wen’s restaurant, finding it blacked out and closed. Feeling frustrated, I headed towards the docks. It wasn’t the beach, but it was close enough to one.
Parking the car, I let the darkness fold around me like a familiar friend. The smell of the water relaxed me, the sound of the water lapping against the edge of land calming me. I stood at the railing, the dark office buildings of the shipyard to my right, the twisting canal to my left. I took a deep breath, calming the anxiety that had me in a chokehold since this morning.
A shuffling noise sounded behind me. I froze, heart thudding in my chest, pounding in my ears. I held my breath, not daring to move as I tried to listen for any hint of movement behind me. But there was nothing. Still, I could feel eyes on the back of my neck, the little hairs raising as I stood there like stone.
Finally, I spun around, eyes scanning the dark corners of the docks. Nothing moved. Nothing out of the ordinary. I didn’t relax until I was back in the car once again, taking out the gun in the glove compartment. Clicking the safety off, I kept one finger on the trigger as I backed out. It wasn’t until I was back on the road, weaving between cars, that I clicked the safety back on.
I shook my head, feeling ridiculous. The shit with the Snake had left me feeling more paranoid than before. Irritated, I shoved the gun back into the glove box, slamming it shut. I hated this feeling—of not knowing what would come next. It pissed me off. I decided right then and there that even if Dante didn’t come back, then I would do this shit without him. I didn’t need him, and I certainly couldn’t baby him anymore. Gripping the wheel, I headed home.
After the docks, I didn’t dare park in the parking lot. Instead, I left my car on the street, tossing one of the guards my keys to park it for me. There were only a handful of men still at our apartment building now. After I was taken the second time, we’d cleaned house, only keeping the ones we knew for years with extensive background checks. And, well, following them around for a week just to clear them. I couldn’t take any chances after Vincent’s betrayal.
Taking the elevator up to my floor, I still couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched. I eyed the camera in the corner of the elevator, feeling cold. Shaking it off, I stepped from the elevator, unlocking my front door. As soon as I stepped into the living room, I felt it. Something was off. And this time, it wasn’t just my paranoia.
My eyes scanned the room as I flicked the lights on. If there was someone in here, they would have heard the door opening anyway. There was no use in keeping the lights off. I heard nothing, but that didn’t mean anything. I’d been attacked in my own home before. Shivering, I stepped away from the door, keeping it open just in case. I had a gun stashed in the bookcase beside the door—something I placed there after the first time.
I grabbed it quickly, clicking the safety off quietly. With the gun up, I crept towards the bedrooms. I didn’t get far. My eyes landed on something white on the coffee table, lying beneath a vase of flowers I knew I hadn’t put there. Hesitantly, I crept closer.
It was a card.
I let the gun fall to my side as I stepped closer. I slid the card out from under the vase. There was no name on the front. Nothing to indicate who had left it there. I flipped the paper open.
There was only one word. One terrifying word.
Congratulations.
4
SIENNA
Icouldn’t stay here. The note dropped from my fingers, fluttering to the ground. I was out the door before it even hit the floor. Without thinking, I went to the one person I knew would be up at this hour. Knocking on Gemma’s apartment door, I waited for her to finally open it, praying she wasn’t already out. The door opened, much to my relief. Gemma stood there, looking shocked and confused. I guess it had been a while since I actually came to her floor.
“Sienna? What are you doing here?” She opened the door wider, letting me in.
“I just—” What was I supposed to say to her? That I couldn’t be in my apartment right now because I was afraid? That the Snake had left a note with words they shouldn’t have known to write? My eyes caught on the sleek red dress she was wearing. “Are you going out tonight?”
“Yeah, I was about to head out, actually.” She eyed me, probably wondering where I was going with this.
“Can I come with you?” I asked quickly. There was no way I wanted to be alone tonight.