I sniffed, setting the cup down. “I’m not sure. I just…I just feel tired.”
She was silent for a moment, watching me. “I know you’ve had a lot put on your shoulders these few weeks, and I’d hoped that Dante would be there to help shoulder some of it. But it looks like he can’t be here at the moment. You’re not alone, Sienna.” Her words mirrored Gemma’s.
“I know I’m not. It’s just sometimes I can’t help but feel that I am,” I admitted. “I’m supposed to protect you. And Mateo and Gemma. The family. Everything dad had built. But I feel like I’m failing.”
“Oh, honey.” She came around the counter, giving me a sad smile. “You’re not failing. You’re doing the best you can.”
“And if that’s not enough?” I asked tiredly.
“Then all you can do is remember that you tried.”
I shook my head. “I have to do more than just that.”
“No, you don’t.” She took my hands in hers, giving them a tight squeeze. “You don’t have to do anything more than survive right now. To get through this. No one is expecting you to save us all. Or Dante. You each have your own demons to contend with in your own way.”
I glanced at her sharply. My mom always saw more than she’d let on, but I couldn’t tell if this was just one of her wild shots in the dark or if she suspected more.
“There was always a side to your father that he wouldn’t discuss with me. Or show me, really, even though I always knew it was there,” she said quietly. “He tried his best to keep some things from me—mostly the worst of it. But there were nights when I could see it in his eyes.” Her eyes flicked to mine. “It was me who always brought him back.”
“I don’t know if I can,” I whispered.
“You can,” she assured me. “And you will. But not this second.” Pulling me to my feet, she led me towards my old bedroom. “Get some rest, Sienna. Real rest. Problems are always more manageable after you’ve slept on them.”
Giving her a grateful smile, I stepped into the room, the memories flooding back to me. It hadn’t changed since I’d moved out, which surprised me and also didn’t. My parents had plenty of other rooms on the floor, so they had no need for this one. The walls were still a light blue color, the curtains the same gauzy white hanging on either side of the windows. My queen-sized bed was made, the blue comforter without any wrinkles beneath the white pillows. There was a single desk set before the window so I could look out while doing homework, and a single bookcase that held way too many books sat beside that. There were a few other trinkets from my childhood that I’d kept; a stuffed cat that lay amongst the pillows on the bed, a poster of Italy that I loved.
Suddenly, I felt exhausted. Slipping off my shoes, I crawled beneath the covers, not even bothering to find something else to sleep in. I didn’t know what time it was, but the lights from the city twinkled beyond the glass of the windows, the night a midnight hue. I laid there, trying not to think about anything, feeling safe for the first time in what seemed like a while. In my parent’s flat, I felt as if I didn’t have to worry about mysterious notes or someone leaping out at me from the shadows.
Here, it was safe.
I knewwho it was as soon as he touched me. How could I forget? His hands brushed along my spine, hot against my skin as his lips soon followed. I shivered beneath his touch, still attempting to wake up from the heavy sleep. I smiled, murmuring something into the pillow as his touch continued to blaze a trail down my back.
His fingers gripped my hips, flipping me over to my back as I gasped. Those steel eyes stared down at me, a storm amidst the darkness. They stole my breath, tying my words into knots. I only had seconds to memorize his face before his lips were at my neck, his tongue pressing hot and wet against my skin.
Arching into him, the need and desire built low in my stomach, my body responding to his as it tried to press closer. His shoulders shook slightly, a smile on my neck. His hand slipped down my stomach until it reached my center, fingers deftly swirling around my clit.
I gasped, fingers curling around his shoulders.
“Did you miss me?” he growled.
My legs shook as his thumb circled that spot, my body reacting to him almost immediately. Jolts of pleasure singed my nerves, and my mind went blank. His other hand cupped my breast, thumb circling over the hardening nipple as he kissed along my jaw. Abruptly, his hands grasped my wrists, holding them against his chest. Heat flared in his gaze, and his lips were red and full. A soft whine escaped me as I tried to press against him. I didn’t mean to. My body was acting out all on its own. The right side of his mouth quirked up, but his gaze was cold.
Calculating.
“Tell me what you need, Sienna.”
My head fell back, allowing myself to enjoy as his tongue flicked across my nipple. He zeroed in, taking it between his teeth, softly circling, biting. A small cry slipped before I could stop it, my body betraying me. Every moment pulled at me, dragging me closer. Rolling my hips forward, I found his knee wedged between my legs, keeping them open. I pressed against him, trembling from the pressure, wanting more.
He took it as an invitation to move further down with his lips, his tongue. Kissing a trail of fire from my breasts to my hips, nipping at the soft insides of my thighs. I shuddered, clutching at his shoulders as he made his way down my body. There wasn’t an inch of me he didn’t taste, from the base of my throat to the dip of my stomach, to the damp heat between my legs.
The first dip of his tongue had my back arching against the cushions. I gripped his hair, pulling him closer. His mouth covered every inch of me, lapping at the soft folds between my legs. And I wanted more. No, I needed more. I could feel myself about to topple over the edge.
Just a bit longer…
His mouth ripped free from my pussy, leaving me gasping. I reached for him, crying out. But he stood there, watching me, his naked body bent over mine. The light of the room cast shadows along his muscles, making them appear sharper. More dangerous.
“Tell me what you need.”
I jolted from my sleep,a sense of loss coiling in the pit of my stomach. Laying there, I took a few deep breaths as the last dregs of the dream clung to me. It was disorienting. I half-expected for him to walk in. To find him beside me beneath the covers.