“Yeah, to my wife’s child,” I hear Ash snap out, and I look past Loki to see Ash standing there, a face like thunder.
Loki’s face blanches. “Shit that’s a clusterfuck.”
My attention returns to Ash, who’s still standing there, and looking lost. Stepping away from the others, still clutching the damn test in my fist, I walk towards him in a swish of silk. Dropping the test onto the side table with a clatter, I step right up to him, my hands coming to rest on his chest.
“Hey,” I say softly, his blistering gaze landing on me. There’s anger there for sure, but also a blinding terror. “I need you, Asher Vanderbilt.Weneed you,” I tell him, taking his hand with my spare one and placing it on my stomach. I swear I almost feel something as his palm strokes me, his fingers twitching. “You will all be fathers to our baby.”
“What if I’m no good?” he asks, the worry shining brightly in his eyes. “I don’t exactly have a good role model to look up to.” He huffs out a self-deprecating laugh that cuts me to the quick.
“You will be an awesome dad, Ash, and our child will love you for it,” I say, my voice firm with conviction in that truth.
His eyes close for a moment, his head tipping forward until our foreheads are resting together, his hand still resting over my stomach, warming the area under his palm.
“I love you, Lilly,” he croaks, his voice choked with emotion.
“I love you, Ash,” I reply, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
The others come to us, surrounding me with their loving protection as their hands come to my stomach until there’s not a space left untouched where our baby is growing.
* * *
A week goes by, then two, then three, and yet no word from Julian, or any of the other members of the board. I can’t even bring myself to think of them as the guys' families. There’s no familial love there, nothing that gives them the right to be known as such. The radio silence leaves a sour taste in all our mouths, distracting us from our schoolwork as we wait on tenterhooks for some kind of backlash.
Meanwhile, Kai works on the plan. The murder plan. I hate how right it feels, to be plotting someone’s death and the downfall of several others. But this is one thing that they have earnt, and if that makes me a monster then so be it. I’ll embrace the darkness with open arms if it keeps us all safe, and stops the abuse that my guys have gone through, and continue to go through.
The weather warms up, signs of spring in the air, although apparently it’s not officially spring until we get snow on the tulips that fill the academy planters. Something eases in my heart, my breaths coming a little easier as winter starts to wane. It’s silly really, bad things can happen at any time, regardless if the birds are chirping and the sun is shining.
We’ve decided to keep my pregnancy quiet for the moment, I’m only ten weeks or so along anyway so it’s not as if anything shows yet or will for a while. The sickness still plagues me and reminds me of stories Mum told me of how morning sickness was a load of bollocks when you feel sick all damn day. How right she was.
Kai spends hours in our kitchen making me things to try and tempt me to eat, and he brings me lemon and ginger tea in the mornings which helps to settle my stomach enough for a plain breakfast of peanut butter on toast. He tells me he’s stockpiling recipes for when I feel up for more and has researched the best diet during pregnancy to ensure that the baby and I are getting all that we need.
Jax has me on various vitamins and supplements, having done his own research into what I need. He’s also planned an entire exercise regime suitable for pregnancy and has added a massage course with a focus on pre- and postnatal massage to his studies.
I’ve had to stop Loki on more than one occasion from buying up the entirety of the Frugi newborn store, an English company online that he found, which specialises in rainbow designs. He holds me close pretty much every night, hardly letting the others get a look in, telling me all the things that he plans to do for our child, the ways in which he’ll care for us.
It’s enough to make me cry, which I seem to be doing at random points now. Apparently, that’s normal.
Ash is the only one that seems a bit reserved, a bit separate from us. I hate it, but I know that he’s coming to terms with the situation, with his worry about what lies ahead, and what will happen when Julian decides to get his revenge.
We don’t have to wait much longer for the first hit.
We’re lounging on the grass outside, in the formal gardens of the academy, Willow with us, when Jax’s phone buzzes. He answers it, his face going deathly pale as his eyes lock onto mine, like a drowning man.
“What?” he growls, chills running down my spine at the danger in his voice. “When?”
I sit up from lying back on Loki, the others and Willow all looking at Jax with alarm. He ends the call, his hand still like the calm before the storm as he looks at the now dark screen.
“What’s going on, Jax?” Ash asks, casting a quick look at Willow, who flushes.
“I’ve, um, got some homework to catch up on,” she says, getting up and giving me a quick peck on my cheek.
“Thanks, lovely,” I whisper in her ear, and she just nods with an understanding smile. This girl really is the shizzle.
Jax watches as she walks off, waiting until she’s disappeared into the doors of the academy before he speaks, his voice low and pained.
“Mom’s in hospital,” he tells us, and my heart stills, knowing it’s not for something routine. “She was beaten half to death last night, supposedly by intruders who left her for dead while they stole all the valuables.”
“No,” I whisper, my hand coming to cover my mouth as tears spring into my eyes, making Jax bob and weave in my watery vision.