“I know,” he replies, his own brow marred with a frown. He heaves a sigh. “Time to go, Princess.”
I turn to face him, looking up into those unfathomable grey orbs.
“For what it’s worth,” I begin, gazing deeply into the depths of his eyes, my soul trying to touch his. “A part of me loves the fact that I will be your wife.”
I watch as his nostrils flare, a roaring fire flaring in his eyes, his hand alighting on my hip and pulling me closer.
“All of me loves the fact that you will be my wife,” he responds huskily, his grip tightening. “Loves that I’ll have you in a way they won’t.” And he takes a deep, pained breath, closing his eyes for a moment. I know he feels the same guilt that I do, the guilt that comes from liking this situation, even though it’s been forced upon us.
“You ready, Baby Girl?” Jax says, striding into the room, pausing as he looks between us, clearly feeling the tension in the room.
I heave a sigh of my own, turning to face him and giving him a weak smile. He, like Ash, is wearing black tie and looks devastating.
“Yes,” I reply, taking a step forward. Ash’s hand falls from my hip as Jax holds his out for me to take.
“I might as well make the most of it,” he tells me as we exit the room.
“What?” I ask, my eyebrows dipping as I turn to look at him briefly as we head down the stairs.
“Once we leave this dorm, we can’t touch you, or be overly familiar with you,” Kai says, waiting for us at the bottom of the stairs.
“Oh, yeah. I’d forgotten,” I reply in a quiet voice, biting my lower lip.
We descend into a weighty silence, no one quite knowing what to say.
“Come on, we may as well get this over with,” Ash suddenly says, taking my hand and pulling me to the door. “The sooner we get there, the sooner we can come home.”
We follow him, as we always do, squaring our shoulders as if we’re all going into battle. I suppose, in a small way, we are. We don’t know how much our movements are being watched and reported back. Clearly, some are if Julian’s knowledge of my love life is anything to go by.
Chin up, shoulders back, Lilly.
Let’s show them that we’re made of sterner stuff than they think.
* * *
Like the Halloween party, there are doormen waiting to let us into the ballroom. Unlike the Halloween party, they are dressed in tuxedos with no scary makeup. They open the double wooden doors with a flourish, and my breath leaves me in a gasp, my eyes widening at the sight before me.
The room has once again been transformed. Huge bouquets of red roses sit atop white-covered tables, red petals strewn across the surface of them, and golden chairs tied with red organza bows seated around them. One wall looks to be entirely covered in red roses, real, not fake, and all above the huge buffet table are hanging branches dripping with pink and red flowers, and glass globes with flickering candles inside.
“They really do not scrimp on this shit, huh?” I say aloud as we walk down the small set of steps and head towards a table in the front.
“You’re only just realising this, Princess?” Ash scoffs, and I scowl at him, earning myself a chuckle.Dickbucket!
He pulls out my chair, pushing it in as I sit down, then calls over one of the waiting staff who’s holding a tray of Rosé champagne. Jax sits down next to me, a huge plate of food in front of him.
“I see your appetite has returned,” I tease, and the small tilt of his lips causes butterflies to erupt in my stomach.
“Here,” Kai says softly, laying a plate in front of me with a selection of some yummy looking foods.
“Thanks,” I say, looking up and catching his amber eyes. He looks uncomfortable, which isn’t unusual for him in these kinds of social situations. I can still see the darkness lurking in the depth of his amber orbs, the tight lines around his eyes giving away the strain that he’s currently under. I just wish he was able to share his burden, knowing that it’s what he needs to exorcise his demons. Otherwise, they just fester, eating away at your soul until nothing is left but desperation and the pitch-black of loneliness.
A hyena’s laugh jerks me from my thoughts, and I clench my jaw when I see Amber the Cuntmuffin leading Loki to the dance floor. I’m staring so intently at them that I don’t even know what song is playing, and if looks could kill, she’d be a pile of ashes and fake lashes on the floor.
Loki’s whole body is tight when she starts grinding up on him, her skinny arse almost falling out of her dress, it’s that short. I’m all for people wearing what they want, freedom of expression and all that, but what she wears is barely more than underwear and just reeks of desperation.
“Princess,” Ash warns under his breath, and I take a steadying inhale, trying to relax my tense shoulders.
“Lilly!” I hear Willow call, and turning my head I see her striding towards me whilst pulling a guy by his hand.