“What do you mean?” I ask. “You’re safe with me.”
“He didn’t rape me because I wasn’t meant for him.” My blood runs cold. Words dry on my tongue as I try to think of something to say.
“I will keep you safe,” I repeat.
“I don’t want to lie in wait.” She pushes away and looks down at me.
From this angle, she looks fierce.
“Okay.”
“Use me.”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“This isn’t your choice, Cyrus Reed.” She moves to stand and leave the bed. “If you won’t, I’ll use myself.”
“Sun . . .” I pull her back, burying my face in her neck. “I can’t lose you too.”
“You won’t. But I can’t wait for the other shoe to drop. I won’t be anyone’s scared victim. Use me as bait and then finish it.”
I know she’s right. I know it’s the only option. But I still hate it.
“Say yes.” She turns her face to kiss me on the lips.
“Yes.”
One word. One word that changes everything. Because that one word means there is nothing I wouldn’t do for Ivy Aldridge.
She will be my doom.
47
Ivy
I can’t believe I agreed to this. Actually, worse . . . I can’t believe this was my idea. Tomorrow morning, I’ll be putting myself on the chopping block. I’ll pretend to be docile and scared, but in truth, the anger inside me is so deep, I’m not sure how I’ll do it.
Acting is not my strong suit.
Never has been. If I don’t like you, you know it. If I do, I’ll do anything for you.
It’s a trait I like about myself, normally. But now, when it could cost me my life, not so much.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Cyrus asks, pulling me closer to him in the bed.
“Nothing.” I have so many things I want to say to him, but I just don’t know how to. It’s not the time.
It should be easy, but the emotions I feel for this man are suffocating me.
He saved me.
For that, I owe him my life. But it’s so much more than that . . .
Emotions are running high tonight, so as much as I want to say things to him right now, I can’t. Both of us need to be in a good headspace.
“It’s not nothing, Sun.” He cuts into my inner ramblings.
“You’re right. It’s not.”
He leans forward and kisses my head, a gesture I have grown to love.
Love.
The words hover inside me to say out loud, but how can I know if this is love? It might be. The circumstances leading to our relationship are strange, to say the least, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t real.
They are.
But still, the words stick to the roof of my mouth, refusing to leave.
I swallow with difficulty, trying desperately to find my voice and say the thoughts plaguing my brain.
“What if something goes wrong?” My voice drifts from my mouth in a soft whisper.
“It won’t.” There’s conviction in his tone, but I’m not sure I believe him. Not after everything I’ve been through. Nervously, I bite my lip.
“You can’t know that for sure.”
“I can. And I do. I will not let him have you. Ever. Do you hear me?”
I nod silently, and he lifts his hand and strokes my cheek.
“Words. Say you understand.”
“I understand.”
“You’re mine, and no one takes from me.” His words are final and resolute. But I wonder how long he’ll want to keep me.
I expect him to try to chase the demons away by kissing me, but it never comes. Instead, he holds me tight and rocks me in my arms. It’s not what I expect from him, but it’s so much more. It’s exactly what I needed, even though I didn’t know it.
He makes me feel cherished, safe, and most of all, even if it’s temporary, he makes me feel like I’m his.
* * *
The next morning comes before I’m ready for it. Sunlight streams in from the closed blinds being pulled back. When I open my eyes, I’m temporarily blinded.
“Good morning,” Cyrus says as he crosses the distance. He makes it to me in two steps, his heavy footsteps making me smile. Before I can think about it, he’s placing a gentle kiss on my mouth.
“What time is it?”
“Four p.m.”
“What? That’s not morning. Shit. I have to get up.” I jump up too quickly, forgetting that I had hit my head only days earlier.
Although I’m feeling dizzy, I refuse to show it. I know if I do, Cyrus won’t let me help him.
Failure isn’t an option on this.
This sicko was going to take me, and my worst nightmares can’t tell me what he would do if he got me.
I’m not dumb enough to think another woman won’t take my place if we don’t get him.
Slowly, I walk to Cyrus’s bathroom.
When I step inside, my steps falter at the reflection of myself in the mirror. Boris might not have touched my face, but the remnants of my capture are clear all over me. From my hollowed eyes and the dark circles, my skin looks drab. But it’s the sight of the bandages on my arms that makes my blood turn cold.