“Then I’ll be there.”
Willow was allowed to go home, so I took her to my place, tucked her in, left her with Maggie to babysit, and then made the trek uptown.
I didn’t announce my arrival. Instead, I just showed up. The truth is, showing up unannounced runs the risk they won’t be there, but I’m so eager to let what I need to say out that it didn’t even dawn on me to call until I was walking to the doorman.
He picks up the phone and calls up.
“Mr. Price, your brother is here to see you,” he says over the phone, and then he nods, signaling to me that I can head over to the elevator.
I ride quietly until the elevator arrives on the top floor.
When the doors open, I see that Grayson is waiting for me. Concern is laced on his face.
“Are you okay?” he starts, and I nod. I see him staring at my shirt. That’s when I realize that in the rush to get here and say what I needed to say, I forgot that I have blood on me.
“It’s not my blood.”
“Talk to me.” He points at the couch, and I follow him to where he sits. “You want a drink?”
I’m surprised by this. Usually, Grayson doesn’t push booze on me at this time of day. It’s only ten a.m.
“You know what . . . I will.” After the day I had yesterday, and the fact I still haven’t slept, I could use it.
He fixes us two glasses, and I’m shocked to see he’s poured us both tequila. Maybe there is hope for us yet.
“What’s going on, Jax, and why do you have blood on you?”
I think of how to say what I need to say, but I decide to cut to the chase. “I’m taking a leave of absence.”
His eyes go wide.
“You don’t need me. My job has always been a smokescreen for what I really do.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is. And you know what I realized? I don’t care. I have no passion to do what you do. And I don’t need to. I’m not you. And that’s okay. I don’t want to be.”
I expect him to object, to say something, but instead, he only stares at me. “I appreciate the opportunity, but I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not anymore. And I’m going to need you to appreciate me for who I am.”
“I do,” he finally says.
“Then why do you push me to be you?”
A line forms between his brows, and his jaw tightens. “I never meant to. I thought . . .” He lifts his hands and buries his head in them. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I thought that if I treated you the way Dad treated me . . .” He trails off. “For the longest time . . . it might sound crazy to you, but I was jealous.”
“Of me?” Shock is evident in my voice. I lean forward in my chair because I couldn’t possibly have heard him right.
“Yes, of you.” He inhales deeply. “I always thought I’d be like Dad. I never thought I had a long life ahead of me. I was always envious of how you lived. You didn’t live like me with a feeling of impending doom hovering over you. No, you just lived, and I hated you for that. You lived, and I was jealous. I’m so sorry. When I met River, I realized how precious life is, and I promised myself I would change, but I couldn’t. Not then. I wanted to help you grow, but the only way I knew how was to act like Dad did with me.”
“You’re not my dad.”
“I know.”
“And I’m not you.”
“I see that now, and I’m sorry. I am, truly. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you.”
I don’t speak as I take in his words, as I watch him for any tells.
There are none.
All I see is love. All I see is pride.
All I see is truth.
My leg jerks when I realize I’ve made the same mistake with Willow. I thought I needed to save her, but she was strong enough to save herself.
“I do appreciate you. Everything you’ve done, for me, the company, for River . . . we need you.”
“And I’ll always be there for you.”
He stands unexpectedly, and I’m not sure what to make of it, and then he does something completely unexpected. He hugs me.
It doesn’t last long, but it does its job.
It mends the last broken piece and makes me whole.
“I can work remotely on certain projects,” I say to break the silence that has now fallen as he sits back down. He knows I’m talking about my side gig.
“Can I conv—”
“No. I have to go.”
“Where are you going?”
From where I’m sitting, drink in hand, I fill him in on all that’s happened to Willow. Her husband. The attempted murder. When I’m finally up to this morning and leaving Willow in bed, he blinks.