“Of course I do.”
What I don’t have the patience for, is to let someone else get to Natalie before I work up the courage to.
CHAPTERSEVEN
Natalie
“Brandt,can you help me roll this dough?” I sigh, trying to get it out of the heavy-duty mixer we have. Some days it’s not hard, other days it feels as if I’m lifting a ten ton block of cement.
“Yeah, step back and let the man do the work.” He flexes his arms.
“Whatever, that one just seems heavier than normal.”
He chuckles. “It’s probably because you’ve already been here for four hours.”
He’s not wrong about what he’s saying. Mia had an early morning appointment and we’ve been tasked with opening the store. This is the first time I’ve had to do it in a while and I can’t seem to get myself moving.
“More than likely. I only got a few hours sleep. Mia didn’t text me until after ten.”
“And were you up reading your sexy books?” He jokes, making fun of the fact I read romance novels on my breaks.
“No actually.” I raise my eyebrow at him. “I was watching TV, if you must know.”
“Third rewatch of Gilmore Girls?”
“Fifth rewatch of True Blood,” I correct him. “Something about that vampire Eric.”
“Weird that he looks nothing like Cam. I would think whatever you’re watching would have some resemblance to your real-life crush.”
Glaring at him, I wrinkle my nose. “Sometimes I really hate you. Am I that transparent?”
“We’ve worked here together for a couple years, Nat. I know you very well and even if I didn’t, anyone can see the way you light up when he comes in.”
“It’s not like I can hide it,” I defend myself. “It’s something that happens when he’s around.
“And nobody wants you to. One of the best things about you, Nat, is everything you feel is written across your face. Like how embarrassed you are right now.”
At this moment, I hate how well Brandt knows me. How everyone knows me. One of the disadvantages of growing up in a small town. Because of the Olympics and the type of training I had to do, I chose to go about getting my education differently. Unlike Hayden, I didn’t leave for college. I chose to stay here and attend the state school to get my general education requirements. Since I’ve done that, I haven’t gone back. Not because I haven’t wanted to, but I haven’t decided what I want to do with my life yet. At twenty-four, I’m beginning to feel the fear of indecision. My quarter-life crisis is upon me. Am I ever going to make a decision that’s going to stick for the long-haul?
“So we need to go ahead and make the bread for today and tomorrow.”
“You’re going to choose not to comment?” He scoffs. “Okay, I see what you’re doing.”
He doesn’t. The truth is, I don’t know how to answer him. Have absolutely no idea what I’m doing when it comes to Cameron. When he gives me a little attention, I want to take a mile, but I’m not comfortable with it. Especially when I know it means more to me than it does to him. That will be an easy way to get hurt, and I’ve been there, done that. “I can’t discuss my relationship with Cam with someone when I don’t know what it is myself.”
“Wanna know what I think?”
“Not particularly, but you’re going to tell me anyway.”
“You’re a great person, Nat. One of the best I know. So often, you put others in front of you and that’s what you’re doing here. Because you care about Trinity and Cameron more than you care about yourself, you’re willing to put them first. For once in your life, put yourself before anyone else.”
What he’s saying hits me hard. “I don’t think I can.”
“Why not? Let’s talk this out. You’re gorgeous, funny, and one of the kindest people I know. Why can’t you care as much about yourself as you do others?”
Biting my bottom lip, I look everywhere but at him. “They’ve been hurt and abandoned. They need people to care about them. I’m pretty well adjusted.”
“So you say,” he teases.